annaannaannaanna Parents have so many different jobs to do: establishing consistent routines, teaching our children appropriate manners, offering a variety of foods and providing nutritious meals and modeling playing appropriately with others and showing kindness and respect. We strive to teach our children to be independent as well. We want them to be independent at dressing, brushing teeth, toileting, eating and so much more. But have you ever stopped to think how we might want our kids to be independent when it comes to play too? Though independent play may not be at the top of your to-do list, it may be more important than you think. “In a world where our families and children are often overscheduled, carving out time for independent play, without electronics, is critical for the developmental needs and growth of our children,” says Michelle Howard, director of Christ Lutheran Early Education Center in Overland Park. “Early childhood educators are seeing an increase in the number of children that struggle knowing how to play or have the ability to explore materials without being told exactly what to do and how to do it.”
“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” Kay Redfield Jamison
What is play and why is it important for our children?
Play has often been referred to as “the work of a child.” The dictionary defines it as an “activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation, especially by children.” There is no serious or practical purpose for play, which, in part, is the beauty of it. Play, no matter what form it takes—whether dramatic, sensory, creative or one of many other variations—is an important part of a child’s development. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, play is important as it “allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development. It is through play that children at a very early age engage and interact in the world around them.” Erica Mickelson, PhD, director of elementary education for Auburn-Washburn School District, agrees: “Play is a time when children can act on their interests, create explorations, and discover new ideas.” In short, play matters!
“Children learn as they play. More importantly, in play, children learn how to learn.” Fred Donaldson
How can we foster independent play and what might it look like?
You may wonder exactly what independent play means or even looks like. “Independent play” refers to your child’s playing alone in a safe environment for a period of time, whether that be in another room or even in the same room as you. Your child may play silently, talk to himself or make noises for the toys he is playing with. Though play comes naturally to children, independent play must be taught. Howard shares a few ideas to get you started:
- It’s never too early or late to start guiding your child in what independent play looks like. Begin with a just short time for a little one in her crib with a soft book or baby-safe toy. Or set up your preschooler with toys in her room or a sandbox in the backyard.
- Be intentional about providing your child with open-ended toys that don’t have a specific use (no electronics, buttons, sounds or actions), such as blocks, Tinker Toys, containers or similar ones that your child can explore.
- Provide your child with a safe, child-friendly environment that will allow for periods of uninterrupted, independent play, both indoors and outdoors.
- Once you have these few basics under your belt, you can expand independent play a bit further:
- Choose times when your child has a greater chance of success and is not overtired, hungry or recently returned from being separated from you.
- Begin by playing with your child and slowly pulling away to allow your child time to play independently. Mickelson says, “Many caregivers feel guilty for not playing with their children at all times. I understand this struggle because my oldest daughter did not play independently. She always wanted me right beside her with a toy in my hand. As she was learning how to play alone, I had to sit and play beside her. After a couple of minutes, I told her I needed to take care of something and slowly walked away. As time went on, she could play independently for more extended periods.”anna
- Gillian Doll, a kindergarten teacher and Olathe mom of one, says, “We have found ways to allow our son to play independently while we have everyday experiences. For example, we put his play kitchen in our eat-in area right next to where we cook. At dinner, I can cook a meal for our family while he plays in his kitchen. It gives him an opportunity to mimic what he hears and sees, but on his own terms. We also talk through and narrate everything we do. We are vocalizing small tasks, how we complete projects, work through conflicts, etc. Adults model independent play without even realizing it.”
- Exercise caution when using screens with your children. Screens don’t have to be a babysitter or the go-to when your children are bored. “We are seeing an increase in the number of students in our classrooms wanting to try and “turn on” a toy or swipe puzzle pieces (like they would an iPad) due to limited exposure to open-ended materials for independent play at home. There is an increase in the use of electronics as parents seek to entertain their children,” explains Howard.
annaannaannaanna Mr. Rogers said it best when he said, “Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning.” So have fun watching independent play begin to unfold for your child!
Teaching children to play independently isn’t just a gift for your child, but for you too. When your children are able to entertain themselves, you are free to do things you need to do as well, so it is a win for all!
Julie Collett can remember playing independently for hours as a child and has since taught her own children the beauty of having time to play alone.