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Welcoming the New Kid to School

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          Who will I sit with at lunch? Will I be able to find my locker or my classroom? Being the new kid isn’t easy, but fortunately many schools and their students love rolling out the welcome mat to help new students feel like a valued part of the community.

            Make a new friend. “New students need and want to feel special because they are special. They also want friends,” says Tara Walrod, district coordinator, Student Support Services Instructional Design Team, Blue Valley Schools.

            Build empathy by talking to your child about any feelings they experienced when they were new to a classroom, club or sports team.

            “Students who are willing to embrace a new friend and invite them to play with, sit with or even just smile at will make a difference in someone’s life,” Walrod says. “All of us have a role in helping to make the transition as easy as possible.”

            Thoughtful touches. Offer a warm welcome to new classmates. Walrod suggests students write short letters or draw pictures. They can collect their notes and place the packet on their new friend’s desk for when they arrive at school. Or they might sign and mail a “welcome to our class” postcard to a new student’s home.

            Walrod says some teachers also create electronic books for new students and their families to use as a resource, highlighting their background and interests, class rules and procedures and photos of classmates with their names (to help a new student learn names).

            Ronee Vrooman, a fourth grade teacher at Sunrise Point Elementary School, makes goody bags that welcome new students. She also makes friendship bracelets for the whole class to wear the first day— or as long as they’d like— to symbolize new friends. She attaches cards that say: “This is to remind you that our class would ‘knot’ be the same without you.”

            Goody bags work well at the middle and high school levels too. They might contain items like a school t-shirt/keychain, a welcome letter, the student’s schedule and lists of clubs and extracurricular activities.

            Of course, adjusting to middle or high school as a new student has its own set of challenges due to larger school settings and multiple classes. 

            “Since your child will have a different teacher for each class and a different group of students, your child may have more complex feelings and experiences,” Walrod says.

            New student orientations, resource folders and ambassador programs can be instrumental in managing nervous anticipation and helping kids get familiar with the school.

            Lead by example. At William Bryant Elementary School in Blue Springs, students can apply to be Greeter Leaders, who welcome new students and distinguished guests to the school throughout the year.

            “A lot of times we’ll have a greeter leader who has been a new student. That empathy piece is huge because they know what it’s like to be in their shoes,” says Stacy Scalfaro, school counselor.

            Some students are naturals while others grow into the role, giving them an opportunity to gain new skills throughout the year. Scalfaro and her greeter leaders host new student gatherings monthly to help enhance a sense of connection. One month, with the help of his mom, an exceptionally generous fifth grader purchased donuts for new students with his own money.

            At Holy Trinity Catholic School, Lenexa, school counselor Kathleen Feist kicks off a Welcoming Buddy program each year before school starts, pairing each new student with a current student. While parents visit with their child’s teacher, a buddy helps their child with a scavenger hunt to locate important areas around school like the library, the cafeteria and the nurse. Plus, the buddy offers a friendly, known face on the first day of school.

            Feist says that often many students are eager to help welcome a new student and like to take turns sitting with the student at lunch or playing at recess. She recommends the welcoming buddy program continue for about six weeks or until the new student is adjusted.

            “Each child is different,” Feist says. While some kids will acclimate quickly, others may “need help throughout the whole school year.”

            Integrating families. Holy Trinity also sponsors a Buddy Family program in which existing school families are paired with new families to help them transition into the community. They introduce the newcomers to other families, answer questions and make them aware of available activities, resources, events and traditions. (Check with your school PTO to see whether they offer liaisons to help new families get involved.)

            “It’s traumatic for a child to start a new school. The more support you give, the better the adjustment can be,” Feist says. “They’re going through a lot of loss and families don’t always move because of a good reason. It could be there was a death and so now they’re moving closer to family. It could be a job loss or financial stress. So sometimes children are bringing in a certain amount of stress to the already stressful situation of starting a new school.”

            Connect 1:1 10 x 2. Nope, that’s not a weird math formula. It’s a community-building technique Scalfaro implemented for kids who are new and struggling with the adjustment. For two minutes, 10 days in a row, the student can sit and chat about whatever he wishes with an adult other than his teacher, like a music or P.E. teacher.

            “Two minutes of just letting them tell you whatever they want to tell you—that’s been really powerful,” Scalfaro says.  “When teachers have 20 plus kids in their classroom, sometimes it’s really hard to just pause and get to know somebody. When you pair a child with another adult in the school, it takes the pressure off the teacher and also builds that community within the school. We don’t ever want kids to feel like they just have one adult. We want them to feel like they have several trusted adults within our building.”

            Advocate. If your child struggles with the transition and the new school doesn’t offer a new student program, ask the counselor or your child’s teacher if your student can be paired with a helpful classmate. Also, check in periodically with teachers and the school counselor to learn how your child is managing recess, lunch and in the classroom.

Raised in a military family, Olathe-based writer Christa Melnyk Hines was the new kid several times growing up. While the adjustment wasn’t always easy, she appreciates the resiliency skills she gained along the way.

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