The Last Firsts

My third baby is what I call my “bonus baby.” I had my heart set on this baby. I am thrilled with my bonus baby, the one I held out for, and am trying to soak up as much as I can of his babyhood and the last months of being a mommy to a baby. Thinking that these baby milestones will be our last is a sentimental idea to ponder. As silly as it may sound, I can get emotional about purchasing that next size of diaper, putting away the 6-month wardrobe, weaning, watching him become mobile and more. 

Meredith Barreth, Olathe mother of three, has the same sentiment.  “The worst part of knowing this is your last baby is the thought of never feeling kicks from within and seeing your other ones growing up, as well as second guessing yourself every other day about this being your last baby because you love kids.”

So what’s a sentimental mommy to do?  The adage “being present in the present” comes to mind. If you have older children, you already know the overused truth that it really does go by too fast. So enjoy all the things you can only do with a baby. Soak up that sweet baby scent and tickle those chunky baby legs. Take time for extra baby snuggles, giggles, story time and rocking that sweet baby to sleep. 

“Their smell, their smile, their toes, the love and delight in their eyes that was simply sparked by seeing you!” says Alison Bergquist, Olathe mom of two. “Then watching them grow and discover the world. Somehow, nothing is quite like seeing the world through a baby's eyes.” 

Being sentimental about the final baby phase also helps when Baby wakes in the middle of the night—you know that someday he will eventually sleep through the night.

Journaling has been one of my favorite things in my parenting adventure. I love looking back to past entries and seeing what my schedule was like with just one baby and then with two. It’s interesting to see what was challenging for me and what cute things my kids were doing then. Looking back at the journal has proven to be a tremendous tool as I parent each subsequent child. I can see what schedule I had for each age, including what and how much I was feeding them. Looking back on what a day in the life looked like for me also helps me appreciate the time I have had being a mother. They are only little once after all. 

Pictures help memories stick with you, and if this is your last go with a baby in the house, then take too many pictures!  Babies only stay little for so long, and big brother and/or sister is growing quickly too!  So often the first child seems to have the most pictures, and then the younger siblings are lucky to have any at all. However, my husband gave me a nice new camera before my second child was born, and I had so much fun using my new camera on my new baby and toddler. Yes, life is busier with more children, but make sure to take a few snapshots of your daily life and special occasions throughout the month. If taking pictures isn’t your cup of tea, simply set a monthly reminder in your phone and use that smartphone of yours to take a few snapshots. You always can delete pictures later but you can never get those moments back. Also make sure to be in some pictures with your kids and to take pictures with your spouse. After all, this is your life you are living too, and it’s fun for your kids to see you in the past. 

Pictures are worth a thousand words, but videos are what make my heart ache with memories of the kids’ little sounds and voices. Hearing your now-6-year-old’s voice when she was 3 is beyond adorable. Children’s sweet little voices grow as they do. Compiling all those short recordings on one DVD is a fun way for your family to watch them together.

Obviously, good things, too, come from bidding adieu to babyhood. This will be the last of the wakeful nights and nighttime feedings, the final disgusting blowouts, the last phase of hauling diaper bags, strollers and carriers, the last season of the car seats and the end of being ruled by naptime and bedtime schedules. With older children comes more freedom—until they become involved in extracurriculars! You also will be able to purge all the baby gear and gain space in your home. If these mementos are difficult to part with, you may find it easier to donate to moms in need through groups like Mission Southside in Olathe, knowing other babies will benefit from your no-longer-needed gear.

Although my final baby may benefit from all these additional snuggles, these little extras are helping me, the mama, with the farewell to babyhood. All too soon I will go from “Mama” to “Mommy” to “Mom” and be on a whole new adventure with all my big kids. I’m sure it will be just as amazing.

Stephanie Loux is a former KC mama of Layla, Mason and Slade and now writes from her new home in Bloomington, IL.