The Twos Are Terrific, Not Terrible!
There seems to be such a negative connotation associated with your child’s turning 2, and toddlers always get a bad rap for being defiant. Some of us would like to just try to survive the year of the terrible twos, but what if you actually enjoyed it? If you are able to understand and adjust your parenting to what is going on in their very developing little minds, you might find that the “terrible twos” are not so terrible but actually are terrific!
Why Terrific?
The age of 2 is such a wonderful age to witness as you watch little ones blossom into their own little people. Their development is exploding in all areas: language, motor, cognitive and emotional. Toddlers are very eager to explore, excited about accomplishing new things, always aiming to please and so curious about the world around them. You will find that they love to contribute and they love to learn. “I love getting down on my daughter’s level and trying to see things through her eyes, because everything is new to her and so exciting,” says Dawn Miller, Blue Springs.
What to Expect
Up until now, you have done everything for your child—with little to no opinion or objection from him. Now that he has figured out he has a voice, he is able to tell you his concerns, wants, needs and desires and, at times, very forcefully. A 2-year-old’s brain has a hard time handling extreme emotions without crashing. He is trying to still stay connected to you while also becoming independent.
Keep in mind this an important phase for tots to go through; they are evolving from babies into children as they learn how to use the potty, feed themselves, make decisions and learn how to play with others. It’s a lot to learn. “I have to stop and think, yeah, it might be an adjustment for me at how fast they are growing and learning, but what about them? It must be exhausting!” says Lauren Crabtree, Overland Park.
Your Parenting Priorities
How difficult the phase is will be determined by how you parent and what type of attitude you have. By trying to understand your child’s bold behavior, you will be taking your first step in equipping yourself to handle it. “Once I reevaluated my parenting objectives and what I expected from myself and my son during this age, it changed things completely and for the better,” says Jessica Owens, Olathe.
- Slow down and watch your child explore the world around him with awe and wonder.
- Give up some control while still keeping your child safe.
- Let him set his own pace so that he feels in control of his world.
- Expect the unexpected.
- Appreciate and understand your child’s moods and become aware of what frustrates him or what challenges he might face.
- Plan in advance by knowing your child’s signals, such as whether he is tired, hungry, lonely or over stimulated.
- Toddlers thrive on schedules. Make an effort to follow a daily routine with set times for eating, errands, playtime and nap.
- Allow him to say no to you. This is his way of learning how to gain control. You will avoid many tantrums if you allow him to win that power struggle.
Jennifer Duxbury is an Olathe resident who is glad to have survived the terrible twos with her son and will be prepared to make them terrific with her second child.