Kids with Anxiety

Ask any pediatric health care professional or educator about children with anxiety, and you’ll hear that we’re seeing more and more children struggle with mental and behavioral health concerns. As a parent, you may have noticed this as well. Many factors are contributing to this rise, but there’s good news, too. More awareness, resources and techniques than ever before can help kids navigate and learn how to cope with stress and anxiety. 

In honor of National Mental Health Awareness month, let’s review what anxiety looks like for children, and how you can foster positive mental health at home. Finally, we’ll look at when and where to ask for help in your community.

Anxiety overview

We’ve all experienced anxiety at one point or another in our lives. Stress and anxiety are helpful when they make you take action but become problematic when your quality of life starts to suffer.

For example, imagine you have a big test coming up that has you worried. Good stress motivates you to prepare and study. Bad stress paralyzes you and makes you think that studying won’t matter. Then, when you get a bad grade, you blame it on not studying.

As your children grow and develop, they experience plenty of age-appropriate fears. A few common examples:

• 9 Months – Around 9 months, your baby may show signs of separation anxiety, more commonly known as a sense of “stranger danger.” Some babies don’t mind being with unfamiliar people, but others are inconsolable until they are reunited with their familiar person.
• Preschool – This age group has many real fears based on imaginary dangers, like monsters in the closet or fear of the dark.
• Elementary – School-age kids start to fear real-life dangers, like tornadoes, insects, animals or what happens when animals or people die.
• Middle and High School – Social anxiety, fear of the future and fear of failure are all significant stressors.

For most kids, anxiety levels seem “normal” for their age. However, problematic anxiety is on the rise. Anxiety disorders are typically diagnosed when worries and fears interfere with a child’s ability to function or enjoy life. Fear and worry can keep your child from trying new activities or making friends and interfere with school performance.

Childhood signs of anxiety

As a parent, you know your child best. Every person’s journey with anxiety is unique, and symptoms can change over time. In general, some signs your child may be struggling to control worries and fears may look like this:

• Excessive worry. Worries that seem out of proportion for the situation, or extreme separation anxiety.
• Intense fears. Fears that keep your child from participating in activities.
• Irritability or anger. Your child may blow up over seemingly minor transgressions.
• Physical signs you may notice:

• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Stomachaches
• Poor sleep
• Panic attack symptoms – difficulty breathing, heart pounding, dizziness, feeling shaky or sweaty.

Foster a positive home environment

Children experience stress and anxiety just like adults do but don’t always have the tools to manage their big feelings. As a parent, your role is to help them grow and develop the coping skills needed to function in the world. Of course, much of this happens naturally, but everyone can benefit from learning more about positive coping skills.

Communicate. When talking with your children, ask open-ended questions, so they can’t just answer yes or no. Listen more than you talk. Instead of offering advice, tell them a story about a time you encountered a similar situation, how you felt and how you handled it.

Create routine and boundaries. Children crave routine and boundaries, even though they will challenge them at every stage. Predictability can soothe fear of the unknown.

Foster a healthy lifestyle. Physical activity, a well-balanced diet and good sleep practices are essential for overall health. A healthy lifestyle has been shown to help manage anxiety symptoms.

When and where to ask for help

There’s never a bad time to ask for help. Your child’s pediatrician is a great place to start if you or other caregivers in your child’s life have concerns about his behavior. Because there is such a high demand for behavioral health care services, many primary care offices now have behavioral health professionals on-site. Your local school district and county mental health resource centers are also great resources.

Age-appropriate therapy services can benefit your child in several ways. First, you and your child will learn about the things and situations that trigger her anxiety. Therapists then teach and help practice coping skills to help your child manage her symptoms. There are several practices across the KC metro—ask for recommendations from trusted friends and family or your health care providers.

Our kids face a rapidly changing world. The best way to prepare them is by fostering healthy behaviors, communication and connection with others. As they grow, they need coping skills to help them navigate the unknown. It’s OK to ask for help; we all have plenty to learn from one another!

Resources:

• Greater Kansas City Mental Health Coalition at ITSOK.us. Site includes resources for KC metro community mental health centers.
• KC Center for Anxiety Treatment at KCAnxiety.com.

References: Anxiety and Depression in Children | CDC

Joleen Sams is a passionate mental health advocate and family nurse practitioner who lives in Shawnee.

As always, please consult your health care provider with any questions or concerns.