Mantras for Moms
Motherhood isn’t always easy. From the moment we begin nesting in anticipation of our first child’s arrival to the day they fly the nest, having kids can trigger thoughts that mess with our inner peace. Raising kids is an enormous joy and privilege, and at times it’s also frustrating, overwhelming, stressful and exhausting. We moms need as much encouragement as we can get. And when we’re barely getting by and at the tattered edges of sanity, unable to conjure a coherent thought in the fog of fretting and fatigue, it’s helpful to have some threads of wisdom to cling to. And so, fellow Mamas, I offer you these simple mantras.
“I’m exactly the mom my kids need because I’m the mom they have.”
So many women feel as if they’re not enough, and this can be amplified in our role as moms. I coach incredible moms who think they’re failing their kids, or believe that their kids deserve a better parent. When you find yourself feeling like you’re less-than and not-enough, remember that you’re exactly the mom your kids need because you’re the mom they have. Enough said.
“This too shall (quickly) pass.”
When kids go through those seasons we affectionately call “phases,” it sometimes feels like we can’t catch a break, and our kids will never outgrow these irritating behaviors. But precisely like the seasons and all transient things in nature, children grow and change. When you feel stuck, worried this stage will never improve, take heart and remember: “This too shall (quickly) pass.”
“My kids’ behavior is not evidence of the sort of parent I am.”
Why do we cringe when other people give us the stink-eye when our kids act out in public? Usually the reason has less to do with their behavior and more to do with the embarrassment we feel because we think it makes us look bad in other people’s eyes. Very often, though, our kids’ behavior has nothing to do with us and doesn’t reflect what we’ve taught them. Of course they’re acting out and pushing boundaries; they’re kids. It’s a natural step in their development as individuals. Let’s just remember to disentangle our identity and worth from their behavior.
“I am the eye of the storm.”
During the swirling chaos of fit-throwing tots, remember this soothing metaphor: I am the eye of the storm. During a hurricane, when gale-force winds wreak havoc with every biting blast, there is one eerily peaceful place, the very center or eye of the storm. Apply this now to tantrums and fits. Instead of jumping into the fray and ratcheting up the chaos of “Hurricane [Your-Kid’s-Name],” take a deep breath, choose to respond rather than react, and be the eye of the storm.
Wendy Connelly, M.Div., is a podcaster (MoJo For Moms podcast), life coach and mother of two from Overland Park. You can find Wendy’s latest podcasts, speaking events, media appearances and more at MoJoForMoms.com.