Saying Good-bye: Surviving the first big drop-offs!

It’s the first day of school for your little one and time to prepare for that first big drop-off and good-bye! Maybe it’s the first day at daycare, preschool or even kindergarten, and wherever it is, for you and your little one it is a big transition. There are feelings of joy at this new stage and, at the same time, anxiety around the idea of his leaving your side. You worry: Did I prepare him enough? Will he be lonely? Will the other kids like him? Will he be given love and attention? While these questions may plague you, you can take some steps for a successful transition.

Tamara Sandage, principal of the Early Childhood Center in the Center School District, has seen her fair share of drop-offs. “Most kids are ready and confident at that first drop-off. I see many parents who are surprised at how well their child handles it and  kind of sad that their child is so willing and happy to go, while at the same time they are proud of that confidence in their child,” Sandage says.

While many kids do handle transitions well naturally, not all do. Some parents may need to take steps to encourage a healthier drop-off. “Establishing a routine that is conducive to their new transition a week or so before the actual first day can help to establish success,” Sandage says. “Make sure there is consistency in bedtime to encourage happier wake-ups. This will make happier children and parents.”

Sandage also encourages participation in activities that schools or facilities offer prior to those big first days: tours, meet teacher days or back-to-school nights. These events also allow families to meet educators and other families and begin to build supportive bonds. These can turn into friendships that will make those first days less stressful. It’s also important to take time to talk with your child about what to expect and what he is excited about in his new school.

For the day of the first drop-off, Sandage cautions against sticking around too long. “Lingering can make it worse,” she says. “After hugs, ‘love you’s’ and ‘good-bye,’ it’s best to go and let the people you have entrusted with your child take over. By leaving, you show your child that you have trust and confidence in the people in whose care you   have left him, and this, in turn, allows your child to have that confidence.”

The first drop-off is a milestone in your and your child’s lives. Have open conversations about what to expect and be present in your own feelings and emotions. “Be who you are as a parent. It’s an emotional time. Be genuine. Be excited for them and let them know you can’t wait to hear about their day!” says Sandage. In taking these steps, you can be confident in that first big drop-off, even if you are teary eyed.

Karah Chapman is a school psychologist in the Kansas City area. She believes that a little confidence can make a child blossom.