So What? He wants to Play the Tuba

For many years, my three children have squeaked, tooted and plucked more sharps and flats than I can count. Despite the many sour notes I have had to endure, it has all been sweet music to my ears. Through all my kids’ musical endeavors, I have learned what does and does not work when it comes to children and music. In fact, if I knew then what I know now, I could have saved my family a lot of time, energy, and money.

When should formal training begin?

The answer to that question varies greatly among experts. Some instructors believe children should wait until they are at least 7 or 8 to begin formal instruction. By then, most kids can read, write, work independently, follow directions, and stay focused. Others believe starting as young as 3 or 4 gives children a jumpstart on their music education.

Whatever age you choose to begin lessons, the key is to have an eager learner. When my daughter turned 4, she became interested in playing the piano. At first, I thought she was too young, but then I enrolled her in a Suzuki program, which teaches children by repetition and uses ear training to pick up rhythmic and melodic patterns. Since most preschoolers have not yet learned to read, this is a particularly good way to get them started.

Because of my her age, I was required to be at all of the lessons and had to sit by her side while she practiced. The key, her teacher said, is to keep the learning fun so she retained her love for music. Kaitlin took piano for about a year until her interest waned. We stopped lessons and picked them back up—this time using the traditional approach—when she turned 10. At 16, she still loves the piano and plays with great enthusiasm.

How do I choose an instrument?

With the vast selection of instruments to choose from, it’s hard to know which one is right for your child. For this reason, it’s best to explore the options and be flexible. Give your child opportunities to see and experience the various instruments. Expose him to instrumental CD’s and point out what instruments are being played. Take him to concerts. Local orchestras often have “musical petting zoos” after family performances. During this time, children can see and touch a number of instruments while talking with the performer.

Another option is to visit your local music store and ask the sales person if he can show your child the instruments they sell and/or rent. Schools often hold music clinics to familiarize students with instruments taught on campus. Some public libraries even have children’s videos that explain about different instruments so kids can become familiar with their names and the sounds they make.

“If at first you don’t succeed…” is a familiar saying that can be put into practice when it comes to choosing an instrument. Too many times a child takes up an instrument and after playing a while, does not like it and gives up on music altogether. The problem is, not all instruments are suited to all people. If your child has chosen an instrument and grown weary of playing it, suggest another instrument rather than allowing him to quit music altogether. If at all possible, rent or borrow an instrument instead than buying one. If you do, you will be more likely to allow your child to change instruments, rather than stick with one he does not like.

How do I find a teacher?

One of the best ways to choose a teacher is by word of mouth. Talk with friends and family members and ask who they use. Call the music teacher at your child’s school and/or a local music store and inquire about music instructors. One viable option is to contact a college campus near you and talk with the music professor. Ask if he can recommend a student who has a desire and is truly qualified to teach. While college students may lack the experience of seasoned teachers, their enthusiasm for music and learning can be contagious.

If you choose to go with an experienced teacher, call and ask him questions. Do you have a music degree? What kind of teaching experience do you have? Do you enjoy teaching children? Can you give me names of others who have taken from you? How long are lessons? How often? How much do you charge? Do you give recitals? How often is the child expected to practice? What do you expect from me, as a parent?

Once you have narrowed your list, make appointments with the potential teacher and take your child with you. Watch how this person interacts with your child. Does he have a pleasing personality? Does he seem to enjoy teaching?

What about practicing?

Even before your child begins lessons, talk about a practice routine. Explain to him that practicing should be done on a daily basis for at least 30 minutes, preferably at the same time each day Choose a time that works well for the entire family. If it does not interfere with established routines, the schedule is more likely to stick.

Children enjoy practicing when they first begin playing an instrument. After a few weeks, however, the novelty wears off. One way to keep your kids pressing on with their music is to use motivation techniques. One suggestion is to use a marble jar. For every five minutes he practices, put a marble in a jar. When the jar is full, your child receives a special treat.

Other ideas to keep kids interested in practicing include making an audio or video recording so your child can hear and see what he sounds like. This is particularly good in helping him realize the progress he makes after a week or two of practicing. Use others to bolster his enthusiasm and confidence. When family or friends come over, ask your child to play one of his favorite pieces for your guests. Finally, don’t wait for the teacher to give a recital, do it yourself. Every few months, encourage your kids to prepare a selection of songs they want to play for the family. When my family did this, I was amazed at how much the kids reveled in the idea. They even went as far as making tickets for the family, typing up programs, and providing snacks when the recital was over.

What should I expect from lessons?

When your child first begins taking music, you can expect once-a-week lessons to last about 30 minutes. Try your best to make it to all the lessons, not skipping unless there is an emergency. If your child sees the priority you put on music, he will regard music education as important. After each lesson, follow up with the teacher to make sure you know what songs have been assigned and what other skills or techniques your child should be working on that week. Are there scales he needs to practice? A song that should be memorized?

How can I help?

When your child practices, keep an ear tuned on what he is playing. Is he really working on the assigned songs, or just playing the same thing over and over again. Teachers often require students to spend a few minutes working on drills everyday. Make sure your child is warming up with these type exercises, in addition to working through sections of songs he is struggling with.

As time passes, keep tabs on your child’s instrument to make sure it is in good working order. Nothing frustrates a student more than an instrument that does not work properly. If your child plays piano, make sure it is tuned once or twice a year. If he plays a brass or wind instrument, watch out for sticky keys or parts that need to be oiled. Remind your child to treat his instrument with care to avoid needless repairs.

Above all, communicate with your child. What does he like about playing? Does he enjoy lessons? Does he like his teacher? What is his favorite song? Potential problems can often be avoided if there is an open line of communication.

Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three teenage musicians.