Trekking Through Transitions

“Don’t blink or you’ll miss it.”

If you’ve been a parent for any length of time, you’ve probably been given this advice. And it doesn’t take long for a mom or dad to understand the meaning behind the sentiment. Babies really don’t keep. This is perhaps most keenly perceived with the monumental milestones a child experiences during the first days of elementary school and middle school. Here are some ways you can prepare, coach and celebrate your favorite students from start to finish of their academic career.

Kindergarten

For youngsters with a year or two of preschool under their belts, kindergarten may not be that much of a transition. After all, they will already be acclimated to structured events like story time, and getting in line won’t carry much of a learning curve. What may come as a challenge, however, is the fatigue that comes from being away from home for a whole day, a more complex structure to the day, as well as potentially having homework.

Parents play a key role in not only preparing their child well for kindergarten, but through active engagement, they also set their child’s teacher up to best serve him throughout the school year. One of the biggest setups for success is when a child knows both his parents and his teacher are working together, cheering him on both in and out of the classroom. Parents should seek to maintain an open line of communication with both their child’s teacher and their child. Ask specific questions at the end of the school day such as, “What was the hardest thing you did today?” or “Did anything funny happen during class?” Allow your child time to process his feelings, whether he’s nervous or excited.

Because kindergartners already have more than 50 percent of their vocabulary established by age 5, these ongoing conversations can be hugely beneficial, not only for emotional health but also for your budding genius’ academic achievement. Equally as helpful, spending time reading great books together at home not only bonds parents and children but it also is one of the only proven means of bolstering test scores. Pick up a list of Caldecott or Newbery award winners from your local library or check out resources like The Read Aloud Revival podcast by Sarah Mackenzie or Jim Trelease’s book The Read Aloud Treasury for other fabulous and age-appropriate reads.

Ways Parents Can Prepare Their Child for Kindergarten:

1. If possible, visit the school and get to know the teacher before school is in session.
2. Inform all staff that will be in direct contact with your child (teachers, school nurse, etc.) whether your child has any special needs or allergies, regardless of whether or not it’s already been indicated on forms.
3. Establish your school routine well in advance, so your child is well rested, accustomed to getting up on time and familiar with how and when to get to school.
4. Read books together about what the first day of school will be like.
5. If you have any questions for your child’s teacher, ask them prior to the first day of school or later in the week. Teachers are often inundated in the first few days of school with a million parental queries.
6. Go through your child’s backpack every day together and make sure you read through and sign all paperwork that requires your consent.

Middle School

Of all K-12 transitions, the shift from elementary school to middle school is one of the most pronounced. Everything is different—from campus size to the number of students per class, student expectations and teacher accessibility. Perhaps the biggest change middle schoolers will navigate is learning the expectations that come from having multiple teachers instead of a primary one like they had in elementary school. And let’s not forget all of this is on the heels of navigating puberty and all that comes with it, including bigger-than-life emotions and an increased need for better hygiene. Middle school is no joke! Students entering this new chapter need the ongoing support of their parents, but they also need space to learn from mistakes and increase their own personal responsibility. It’s a tough line to tow for both parents and their children, and grace needs to be extended in both directions.

The transition from elementary to middle school is certainly a full package one: academic, social, emotional and neurological. An elementary student’s brain is focused primarily on making connections to new information and absorbing it to become an automatic reference. A middle schooler’s brain has the space to start applying that information and asking complex questions about it. Middle school teachers acknowledge this and will up the expectation ante accordingly. Although some children are adequately prepared for this academic transition, they still may flounder charting the waters of middle school social life—or vice versa.  Accordingly, it may take more than the first day, week or month of school for kids to acclimate to all the new things they may face.

Ways to Prepare Your Child for Middle School

1. Teach your child to use a planner. Instruct your child in how to map out her days, set goals and pace herself. This is a valuable life skill that will serve kids far beyond the school years.
2. Be an advocate and accountability partner. It’s not enough to instruct a child how to use a planner on the front end of the year. Follow up and make sure she is using it throughout the year. Encourage your student to email teachers directly with questions but you also be willing to participate in the conversation if the need arises.
3. Let them take credit. Consequences—both good and bad—should fall more on the student’s shoulders. Don’t make a habit of dropping forgotten work or lunches off if they forget. Let them learn to be more responsible.
4. Keep devices in public spaces. Know your child’s usernames and passwords and make a practice that all cell phones, tablets and laptops are both used and charged in a common place within the home. 

Lauren Greenlee is a freelance writer and boymom of two middle schoolers, an elementary student and a newborn. She hails from Olathe.