5 Things Kailyn Rhinehart Learned from Her Dad
Make people feel seen
It didn’t matter where we were in our small town, someone seemed to know my dad. In parking lots and on soccer fields, a shout of “Hey, Rich!” would bring a pause and a conversation. My dad embraced others with his kindness and sincerity, sending them on their way feeling seen.
When my introverted self wants to shrink back, I remember the years of watching my dad and I’m inspired to listen and engage in conversation wherever we are, with whomever would give a shout.
Work hard
My dad worked at the same company my entire life. I have watched him work hard his entire life, and I see the sacrifices he made for our family. He spent long hours working and commuting. He spent weeks and months traveling to provide for us and prove himself. He retired having demonstrated commitment and determination, for which he was rewarded, and to which I aspire.
Show up for people
Twenty-hour drive across the country to help you move? No problem. Spend all day landscaping your yard in the sweltering heat of summer? Absolutely. My dad shows up for those he cares about. His compassion for others is something I’ve always admired. He will stop what he’s doing and help anyone who needs it, especially those close to him. Admittedly, this is something I know I can work on.
Value movement
Even on the days he worked long hours, I’d hear the creak of my dad’s metal exercise bike from our basement before sunrise. Years ago, I asked him why he would wake up so early to be on his bike before work. “Because it makes me feel good!” he told me simply. Today, well into his sixties, my dad still bikes, swims and runs. When I’m well into my sixties, I sure hope I’m able to hop on a bike or go for a run as he still so often does.
Pursue balance
My dad is a creature of habit and has always liked routines. We’re similar in that way. As I’ve grown, I’ve seen my dad’s grasp on routine loosen, and I’ve watched him allow himself to rest.
I’ve often seen my dad brush off concerns with an "It’s OK!" in an attempt to reconcile his need for structure and relinquishing control. I’m still learning this critical balance from my dad—how to maintain structure but ease up on rigid routines. I long to anchor myself in life’s predictability but take my foot off the gas every once in a while and just enjoy the ride.
Kailyn Rhinehart writes from Warrensburg, Missouri, where she lives with her husband and two small children.
5 Things Lauren Greenlee Learned from Her Dad
Do Hard Things
Thomas Edison was once quoted saying, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” I saw this play out firsthand with only a slight deviation in clothing (my dad wore Dickies work slacks). When he began his own business, my dad was willing to do whatever it took to get his start-up off the ground and provide for his family well. I never heard him complain but remember him saying the same refrain amply: A hardworking man can always rest easy. Actions are a language, and his strong work ethic, both past and present, have spoken volumes to me without his ever saying a word.
Learn New Things
There’s never a visit I have with my dad where he isn’t sharing something new he recently learned with utter excitement. Newfound skills and knowledge are something he’s too excited to keep to himself. This has been yet another life skill he’s taught through example and not a lecture: Learning isn’t reduced to school assignments or simply getting a degree. It’s following your passions and seeking to know more just for the sake of it.
Try Different Things
My dad was a recreational runner his whole life, but he didn’t start long-distance running until he was in his fifties. For over a decade now, we’ve run a slew of 5K’s, 10K’s and half-marathons together. It’s been a rewarding way to bond. Living in different states, we can’t always train together but look forward to running side by side on race day. I’m thankful he took the initiative and invited me to join him for the first race because it’s brought us together like no other activity.
Laugh … a lot!
There’s a point in your life when you think you know better than your parents. Then life humbles you and you realize they knew more than you gave credit for. I’m so appreciative this information wasn’t met with critique but with humor and, yes, dad jokes! Life’s too short to take yourself too seriously. My dad still shows me that being teachable and curious means realizing that making mistakes is just a learning opportunity, not a death sentence.
Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness
My dad’s own relationship with his father left much to be desired. Without a road map for what being a good dad looked like, he did a remarkable job navigating life’s challenges and leading by example. He was authoritative when I was under the roof but willing to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness as well. Better still, he released me with full confidence into adulthood. I can only hope to launch my own children into the world with the same degree of humility and confidence.
Lauren Greenlee is a boymom of four hailing from Olathe.