Our Baby Story: The More, the Merrier

It's hard to believe that what seems like only yesterday was actually almost 17 years ago--the day that our beautiful daughter Madison was born. As we make plans for visiting colleges and try to wrap our heads and hearts around the fact that our baby will be heading out on her own in just under 18 months, it's even harder to believe that we are also shopping for the best light-weight sleep gown for our 10-month-old baby boy and filling out paperwork for our 4-year-old son to begin preschool in the fall. We are living in two very different worlds when it comes to parenting. 

    While it's not unusual for a family to have children years apart in age, often the span appears when remarriage forms a blended family. For us, it was simply a change of heart. We married young and had our daughter when I was not quite 22 and my husband just shy of 24. Though our daughter was truly one of the easiest babies in the world, we just couldn't imagine how people managed to parent more than one. Especially while working and trying to finish college. We were enjoying life, just the three of us, with no plans of adding to our family. In hindsight, we realize that we had a lot of growing up to do, and much of it was done in those early years right alongside our daughter. 

    We both worked full time to make ends meet until Madison was in kindergarten. Around that time we made the decision for me to quit work and stay home full time. I loved being able to be so involved with her school activities and spend long days with her going to the pool and playing in the summer. As the years rolled on we would take turns thinking that maybe we should have another child. It always seemed that if I was feeling ready my husband wasn't or vice versa. By the time she was 8 or 9 we had pretty much reached the conclusion that it was too late to have more children and that we would happily be a family of three forever. I've come to learn that about the time I start making my plans, God has a way of letting me know that I am not in control, and that His plans are the best plans. So it came as a bit of a surprise when several months shy of Madison's 11th birthday, our hearts began to stir with the thought of another child. Even more evidence that this was "not of us" was that it wasn't one of us trying to convince the other. We were both feeling the pull. So we decided to let nature take its course and if it happened, great. If not, that was okay too. We were thankful for the great daughter we had and knew we had a full life. We truly let it go and didn't think or stress about it at all. Ten months later we were thrilled and surprised to find out that we would, indeed, be embarking on this parenting thing for a second time. 

    In many ways it was like being pregnant again for the first time. It had been so long that not only had we gotten rid of all our baby stuff, we had really forgotten a lot of what it was like. We were in a very different place in our lives and it was a great gift to be able to experience the joys in a new way all over again. Better yet, we got to experience it with our daughter. Two weeks before Madison's 12th birthday, we welcomed a beautiful baby boy. We named him Hudson Michael. We quickly learned that boys are very different than girls and that sleep deprivation feels much worse in your mid 30s than it does in your early 20s.

It only took us three years to recover from the sleep loss, and at the ages of 37 and 39, we were expecting for a third time. Just five weeks before Madison's 16th birthday and a couple months before she would enter her junior year in high school, we welcomed another precious baby boy into our family. We named him Beau Edward. 

    If you had told me 20 years ago that I would have three children spanning 16 years, I would not have believed you. However, while this non-conventional age range has its challenges--like navigating the sometimes turbulent and emotional years of a teen girl on little to no sleep and wanting to make sure you can be everywhere and all things to each child--I realize that this "plan" was exactly the perfect plan for our family. Nothing compares to the look of sheer adoration and love that these little boys have for their "sissy." Seeing her love and care for them is a glimpse of the amazing mother that I know she will one day be. For those blessings I am eternally grateful. 

    One of the biggest lessons of all has been to truly savor every moment. Even when you don't think you can wash one more bottle, get out of bed one more time or listen to one more temper tantrum. We are able to fully understand the import of the phrase "time flies." Before you know it, they are preparing to face this world on their own and you can't get that time back. So it's with thanksgiving that I embrace the dichotomy of forming a tight bond with our baby boy while letting go of our baby girl.

Sandy Lewis and her husband Mike enjoy raising their children in Overland Park.