Raise a Baby Who Can Entertain Herself
I begin with an admission: I have been known to let my 1-year-old son sit on the kitchen floor with a box of Ziplock bags, pulling them out one by one, just so I can get something productive done. For those few moments, he’s content by himself. And I’m not about to take that precious time for granted.
Raising a child that can entertain him or herself is perhaps one of the greatest challenges of being a parent early on. Obviously, we have to be there for our children constantly. But being there too much can be detrimental both to a child’s need to develop skills and a parent’s need for a break. Striking a balance in which you spend some time exclusively focused on your child and some time allowing your child to play alone is key.
“Much of children’s play is about their figuring out the world around them, both functionally as an infant and symbolically as a toddler,” says Jovanna Rohs, a former education professor at University of Missouri-Kansas City who now stays at home with her two young children.
The benefits of independent play are significant. Kids learn self confidence and how to take initiative. They learn how to make choices. They tap into their sense of curiosity and practice problem solving skills.
What’s more, parents benefit from a child’s independent playtime. In order to continue her morning ritual of reading the newspaper when her son was born, Rohs gave him some cloth books and sat near him while she read. Not only does she continue to enjoy her morning routine, her son now chooses his own books during that time.
“Parents serve as the home base for children who are beginning to explore their environment,” she says. “While they may eagerly go across the room to interact with their toys, they will often look over their shoulder to make sure you are there. They are going through the process of recognizing they are a separate human being.” Sometimes a smile or reassuring nod is all they need before resuming their own play.
Other times, kids just need a little nudge to become engaged in an activity. Often I will read one story to my son and then step aside to fold laundry. He remains on the floor with his books, perfectly content.
Keep in mind, too, that children often explore in unconventional ways. For example, Rohs says, they may get more joy from dumping blocks out of a container than they do from the blocks themselves. Encouraging exploration and creativity rather than interrupting your toddler’s play to “correct” him in something will help him build his independence and learning skills. So what if he puts the spaghetti strainer on top of his head? He’s enjoying himself, and you can always put it in the dishwasher later.
Right now, my living room floor is littered with books, books that my son pulled off the bookshelf while I was paying bills at the dining room table. But it’s a mess I don’t regret, because I know he is learning to play on his own.
Ways to Encourage Independent Play
- Put your child in her high chair or crib with objects to explore while you perform tasks in the same room. Sometimes, your little one may be content just to watch as long as someone is near.
- Stick in a CD of kids’ songs and surround your baby with toys. My son will often dance to the music as he pushes his cars around the room.
- Offer items to your child similar to the items you are using for a particular task. Rohs says she gives her son coupons, paper, pens and scissors when she is preparing her grocery list.
- Let him explore. Sometimes, all a child wants is some freedom. Don’t worry about the crumbs on the kitchen floor (a little dirt doesn’t hurt anyone, right?). Turn her loose next to a drawer or cupboard and let her make her own discoveries. (Make sure she only has access to safe utensils and objects.)
- Separate toys into different areas. Stave off toy boredom by keeping your child’s toys mixed up. Keep some in his bedroom and some in the living room or another room in the house where you and your child spend a lot of time. The mere variety of toys often keeps little ones stimulated for longer stretches.
- Take him to the library. Allowing your child to explore a new environment will stimulate his curiosity and need for exploration. If there are other children at the library, she may also learn from them how to explore new things in new ways.
Kate Meadows is a full time writer and mom living in Lenexa. A native ofWyoming, she is the author of a personal essay collection, Tough Love: AWyoming Childhood.