The Joy of Raising Boys

I have three sons. No girls. Just boys. With each pregnancy, my intuition told me I was having a daughter (the sonograms always proved my gut wrong, and I spent the remainder of my pregnancies switching gears from thoughts of sugar and spice to snakes and snails). Even though I never expected to be an all-boy mom, I adore it. But you better believe I’ve received lots of comments throughout the years when I take my brood around town.

So, do you think you’ll try for a girl?

Wow! All boys. That’s exhausting. Just how do you do it?

You’re lucky! Girls are all drama.

These comments never have really bothered me. I realize most of the time strangers are just seeking to make friendly conversation (though the whole “girls are drama” spiel doesn’t necessarily move me…I love my sons not because they’re not girls but because they’re a gift, plain and simple).  I also look at those moments as opportunities to affirm my boys in front of others.

Being a mom of boys is a privilege but one I don’t feel gets the credit it deserves. Think about it. The term daddy’s girl produces positive and uplifting connotations, doesn’t it? Churches and community centers host annual daddy-daughter dances, acknowledging the special role fathers have with the little women in their lives. The special relationships dads and daughters have even has been the source material for many a tear-jerking song.

Now think of the term “mama’s boy.” What comes to mind is usually more a derogatory term than one of endearment. If a boy is close to his mom, he’s thought to be spineless and self-doubting. And it’s often assumed that Mom is overbearing and fights her son’s battles for him. No one thinks it’s cute or sweet if a young man is a mama’s boy. And let’s face it….the song options for the mother-son dances at weddings leave much to be desired. So, what’s the solution? Here are four of my favorite aspects of being a boy mom.

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

I’ve found boys generally to be low maintenance. They don’t fight wearing what you lay out for them or voice strong opinions about every little thing like girls often do. In general, I find boys to be easygoing (don’t mistake easygoing for easy, though!).

Free Fitness Instruction

Boys can run circles around the Energizer Bunny any given day. They leap with boundless energy, put the structural integrity of your house to the test, and the only off-switch to this frenetic chaos is called sleep. After my second son was born, I took up long-distance running, not just to prepare for half-marathons but also to build the endurance it took to keep up with my little brood. The good news? Boys give you the benefit of free fitness instruction in house! Endless rounds of chase around the kitchen table? Endurance training. Throwing your little guy up into the air over and over again? Bicep and squat workout. And all those Superman/planking poses Little Guy does on your feet while you lie on the floor? I can’t think of a better core routine!

Go, Son, Go

My boys love when I cheer them on at their basketball games. But they love it just as much when I join them for a game of PIG in the driveway. Boys want to be encouraged in their pursuits, but they appreciate it just as much when you yourself are willing to spend time pursuing the things that interest them. A son wants his mother to be both his cheerleader and his teammate.

First Love

The bond that I had with my firstborn was instantaneous from the moment he was placed on my chest. I suppose this is one of the biggest concerns moms-to-be of boys have: How will I connect with a son? It’s natural to want to have a child of your own gender, Nancy Irwin, psychotherapist, affirms within a Disney Babble article titled, “The Joy of Raising Boys.” She says, “Just because you have never been a boy, doesn’t mean you can’t raise a great one. Raise your child to be the most loving person possible, and he will fill in all the other blanks according to his innate personality, environment and social learning.”  While a boy looks to his dad to be his best friend, Mom will always be his first love.

Lauren Greenlee raises three boys and writes from her Olathe home.