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15 Relationship Refreshers That Take Less Than 15 Minutes

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Life is busy. There are bills to pay, groceries to buy, work deadlines to meet and carpool lines to navigate. If we’re not careful, relationships with those we’re closest to can get lost in the shuffle. But take heart! Bonds are built in the small daily things, not the large and grandiose. Eat the proverbial elephant one bite at a time with these quick acts of kindness toward your spouse, your children and yourself.

Cherish Your Spouse

  1. Learn your spouse’s love languages. According to author Gary Chapman, there are five love languages: quality time, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and words of affirmation. Have your spouse rate his or her love languages in order of most valuable to least, as well as a few specific ways you can love your lover through them. Then, take inventory of how you can intentionally do that each week in a few simple yet meaningful ways.
  2. Read a book together—or apart, but then come together to discuss it. Mix it up! Have your spouse pick the first read and you choose the next one. Aim to go through a variety of books you both enjoy and critique them.
  3. Create romantic bedroom ambiance. Buy soft, high thread count sheets, cover the dresser in candles or add a fresh flower bouquet to the nightstand. Make the master a warm and inviting place.
  4. Schedule a surprise couples getaway. Take a cooking class together, schedule a couples massage or book a weekend retreat out of town. Need to stay closer to home? Check out KC Parent and KC Going Places magazines for incredible staycation date ideas.
  5. Enjoy date night in. Having a hard time scheduling date nights with any regularity? Order dinner in and enjoy watching a favorite movie or TV show after the kids go to bed.

Build Up Your Kids

  1. Schedule one-on-one time with each of your children. Kids need dates with their moms and dads, too! Call a babysitter or see whether Grandma can watch your other kids so you can give some undivided attention. Go out to eat, play mini-golf, make arts and crafts or even do a service project together.
  2. Write notes of encouragement. Words have the ability to build or crush a spirit. Exhort your favorite little people with positive words. Place sticky notes around their bedroom, scribble a kind word on their bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker or establish a journal that you and your child write to each other in.
  3. Go through scrapbooks together. Walk them through your years pre-kid by taking them through your wedding album or through photo books from your younger years. And don’t forget to check out the baby books and family albums from after your kids entered the scene.
  4. Teach them a skill you are good at. Are you good under the hood of a car? Can you cook up a scrumptious cacciatore? Maybe you play a mean guitar solo. Whatever your talent, impart what you know to the next generation. You never know what significant impact it might make on your son or daughter, but simply having a shared interest isn’t a bad thing either!
  5. Be a student of your child. Sometimes it’s bewildering just how different our kids can be from us! Take an interest in the things that interest your child. If video games are the way to your son’s heart (but you couldn’t care less), offer to join in on his next multiplayer round and ask him for pointers on how to get better.

Treat Yourself

  1. Learn a second language. Whether you took advanced foreign language classes in college and just want to brush up on an old skill that’s been collecting dust, or you want to try your hand (er, make that tongue) at a new language, there’s never been a better time to grow in fluency. Download an app like DuoLingo where users can choose from almost 40 different languages. In only a few minutes a day, expect to add a few new words to your arsenal. 
  2. Discover the beauty of library holds. Sometimes, strolling through the library and hunting for a good read isn’t always feasible. For those times—and so many others—checking the library’s online system for materials is the way to go. Not only can you get this year’s bestseller reserved in time for your upcoming vacation, but you can also have holds moved to the most convenient library within your system.
  3. Write a letter. That’s right! An old-fashioned, hand-written letter. Go ahead and give yourself the green light to get that adorable custom stationery you always wanted (and, while you’re at it, the rubber address stamp, too). Each week, devote a few minutes to penning a note of encouragement to a family member, neighbor, friend or coworker. Let them know how they make a difference in your life and how you just had them on your heart.
  4. Give Yourself a Pedicure. Sure, applying polish with your nondominant hand might make a self-given manicure a no-go. But your tootsies will thank you when you give them the pampering they so enjoy. Soak your feet in an Epsom salt bath with a calming essential oil like lavender, pat them dry, then trim your nails and deck your digits with a shimmering new coat of your favorite polish.
  5. Soak in Silence. Turn your phone to silent, shut off the TV, mute the playlist you have streaming and close the door. Give yourself permission to take a quick cat nap or simply close your eyes and enjoy the gift of unadulterated silence.

Lauren Greenlee is a homeschooling boy mom of four hailing from Olathe.

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