Carving out time for self-care
Whether an entrepreneur mom, a working mom, a work-from-home mom, a business owner mom, a part-time working mom or a stay-at-home mom, we all experience burnout sometimes. Carving out the time for self-care is essential with or without kids—but with kids, it can be trickier. In all walks of life, we need to recharge.
The idea of self-care and “me time” may sound like a luxury, unattainable even. “How can I possibly have a moment to myself when I’m constantly pulled in different directions, swamped with work or constantly meeting the needs of my children?” a frazzled mom may ask. The truth is self-care is not only possible, it’s vital.
Stephanie Zamora Schilling, entrepreneur, business coach and founder of SymbioBiz, lifts up other entrepreneur moms every day, offering them wisdom and advice. Her passion is validating and providing support to parents who are trying to grow successful businesses in the midst of growing their family. She shared her expertise on how to prioritize yourself and make self-care a part of your daily routine.
Count the moments
Finding time for self-care requires a shift in mindset, Schilling says. Striving for days off is not an option. Based on her experience as a parent entrepreneur, she finds attempts to carve out full days discouraging because the break rarely works out.
“I’m able to feel more fulfilled by carving out chunks of time for time off,” she says. “Two hours here, 20 minutes there, with a half day on Sunday.”
Striving for full days off also makes it harder to actually enjoy that downtime, so she suggests guarding your time. “Decide when you are going to engage in meaningful self-care. Set aside the time and guard it like your life depends on it, because it does,” she says. Identify what is most likely to interrupt the time.
Steal minutes
When you’re not striving for full days off, you are more likely to notice smaller, free chunks of time in the day that you can claim as your own, Schilling notes. Wake up 15 minutes early to do yoga by yourself. If you’re waiting for laundry to finish drying, give yourself a foot massage.
Take a shower. “Take a few extra minutes to let the water pour over you and just breathe,” she says. “Don’t think about anything but the feel of the water and air in your lungs. Take 10 deep breaths and return to your day more recharged.”
Prioritize the things that make you feel most recharged. If you only have 20 minutes out of the whole day, you should pick the things that make the biggest difference to you, which requires a bit of self-reflection. “Know what feeds your soul and do that,” Schilling says.
Minimize distractions
If you’re likely to get lost in social media, turn off your phone. Log out of Facebook. “Is the laundry staring at you, preventing you from napping? Take yourself back to the last time you were on an airplane,” Schilling says. “It’s easy to get lost spending free time on social media or watching Flea Market Flip, but when I am done with that activity, I rarely feel fulfilled.”
The truth is when you’re not rested and your mind and body feel neglected, you aren’t going to be able to be an awesome mom, housekeeper, cook, business owner or community leader, Schilling says. “The more rested you are, the more energy you will have to conquer the world, or at least dinner," she says.
Don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements. You might need support from others to manage kids during your downtime. Talk with your partner and support system. Let them know when you need help and what exactly that looks like.
“Don’t have support? Get creative,” she suggests. “Use the time they are at soccer practice to work out at the park. Bring your book and get lost in a tale of far-off lands.”
Develop self-care tactics
As a business coach, Schilling has found that setting aside chunks of self-care time each day (one in the morning, one midday and one in the evening) sets her up for success. She lists a few of the basics to a good routine:
- Sleep. If you can’t achieve 7-10 hours of sleep at night, carve out time during the day for short naps.
- Eat good food. “Learning how to cook well was something I did for myself. I took the time. I gave myself permission to mess it up and try again,” she says.
- Take relaxing baths. “I have a lot of muscle pain, so I make my baths count. Relaxing music, Epsom salts, baking soda, essential oils, the works,” she says.
- Keep a weekly calendar. Schilling keeps a calendar and detailed lists. Keeping a weekly calendar with tasks made it easier for her to see when she was overloading her schedule. “I can look ahead, see if I’ve overcommitted myself and readjust early,” she says. She doesn’t always wake up worried, wondering whether she forgot something important. “There were little worries that found their way in and impeded on my sense of peace.
- Create. When Schilling is feeling stressed, she finds joy in creating content that will help others, whether that is hosting an event, writing a blog or going live on Facebook to share her experience and what she has learned.
“Find some meaningful way to take action and do it. The more stressed I am, the more passion I pour into my work,” she says. “There are so many things in life we cannot control. Focusing on those is discouraging. As entrepreneurs, we have innovation and opportunity on our side.”
Emily Morrison is a freelance writer, former copy editor, full-time mommy and Disney fanatic who lives in Independence with her husband, 4-year-old son and dog.