Ponies and Princesses, Tykes and Transformers

Do your children’s toys leave you wondering: What happened to pretend play? It’s called gender marketing and there is seemingly no escape for parents who feel imprisoned by pink and purple princesses and/or blue- and green-toned warriors and rescue heroes.

I was half convinced my daughter was perpetually stuck in the Disney princess phase from age 2 until well after kindergarten, when she finally branched out to clothes that included some denim (still sparkly, though). She took her brother along on this fantasy, dressing him as whatever prince or pirate she needed to complete the day’s adventure. Now, at 15, her “costumes” involve more spandex and kneepads than dresses, but she still likes to wear the latest clothes and accessories. Her 12-year-old brother remains mired in the high adventure world of Transformers and Halo. That leaves me wondering, what are the long-term effects of the non-stop sales pitch? Apparently, there are several schools of thought, but no easy answers.

It’s the Products, Not the Play

Disney and Mattel receive the lion’s share of the criticism, as their brands limit children’s choices to a predominantly “girl choice” or “boy choice.” Disney’s “princess mythologies” creator Andy Mooney responds: “… [They] expand their imaginations through the princess characters and move on.” Yet, those removed from Mooney’s market-based interests strongly disagree. Dr. Judith Myers-Walls of Purdue University has found, “Even if programs may not have a strong influence on how children behave on a day-to-day basis, they can have a subtle impact on desensitization to injustice and the creation of subconscious attitudes.”

Before they reach high school, children view 350,000 television commercials, which include more than 25,000 princess-related products alone. To counter this, start analyzing commercial messages with your children at an early age. Comment on how different a toy may be in real life vs. what is shown during a short commercial. Notice how the girls in the program are often not shown doing things your daughter enjoys—playing a sport, climbing or building with Legos. Authors Sharon Lamb and Lyn Mikel Brown offer age-appropriate conversations in companion books Packaging Girlhood and Packaging Boyhood.

Kara Thompson, marriage and family therapist in Lenexa, agrees the media strongly influences a child’s idea of “what I should be toward others.” Young girls watching videos and playing “princess” internalize the message that girls should be “sugar, spice and everything nice,” preferably dressed in pink with a little purple. Boys, on the other hand, demonstrate or “externalize” their roles: using physical adventures, bravery and charm, rejecting all things pink. Parents must address these stereotypes, says Thompson, so that the family’s beliefs shape the child’s self-image. Teach them who they are without outside influences. Then, discuss how something they want measures up against what they believe and how they want to treat others.

Pressured to Be Someone Else

A 12th grade girl interviewed for a recent Girls, Inc. survey stated, “We’re pressured everyday to be someone [who] someone else wants us to be.” The survey also found that girls drop sports after middle school because of this pressure and because sports are considered “unfeminine.”

These pressures can’t be directly attributed to toy marketers, but these girls’ responses point to what other studies have demonstrated: the pressure to be physically attractive has markedly increased since 2000—when Disney began marketing princesses en masse rather than as individual heroines. Granted, a variety of media expose today’s youth to sexualized images of girls and women, but Disney’s multi-billion dollar princess empire is a major player. Girls in particular are told they must live up to the media’s expectations. And, a large part of the image includes dressing “right” and being model thin.

Again, Kara Thompson offers some practical things parents can do to limit media consumption—and she has done it!

• Scrutinize your media habits. Remember: children are watching you.
• Provide structure around media time: discuss when, how much and what is allowed.
• Eliminate video games during the week.
• Limit outside influences. Talk with other adults, especially friends’ parents, about acceptable video/computer games for your children.
• Cut off the cable. Thompson switched to Netflix only; the children select from the “Just For Kids” section. 

Finally, don’t become over-zealous. Observe your children’s interactions and listen to their dialogue. If they are not tying each other up with the Batman cape, it’s fine. However, don’t ignore the power of the media that surrounds them. Engage in their world, no matter what phase they are exploring.

Kathy Stump writes from Parkville, where the cable is still connected, but her two teenagers’ screen-time is limited (except for the daughter’s cell phone).