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Secrets of Less Stressed Parents

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“Secrets of less stressed parents” sounds like a direct contradiction of terms, doesn’t it? Believe it or not, although there aren’t really secrets, there are some simple and fairly easy ways to not only destress yourself, but also to lessen the stress in your life!

One important, and probably overlooked, way to lessen your stress as a parent is to plan ahead and manage your time. This will look different depending on your family dynamics, work obligations, extracurricular activities and similar variables. Some people feel having a plan is too restrictive to their days, weeks, years. However, having a plan helps quell stress before it even has a chance to creep in. Lauren Sasche, Overland Park mom of two, says, “Managing stress for me is planning ahead as much as possible, like by batching as many of my tasks as I can. I do all my laundry on Mondays, try to throw together outfits as I go, and have them set out so there is less to do in the morning. I plan the week's meals on Sunday and do a big Instacart order to get us through the week. The more I can do in one sitting the more my brain is freed up for other things, and this limits my stress.”

Planning ahead also helps you manage your time and be more productive and efficient. Vicky Payne, an Overland Park mom of three, says, “With kids in a lot of different activities and most of our nights busy running around, I try to squeeze in exercise in conjunction with their activity (like walk the track during swimming lessons). I need exercise to sleep well and need to sleep well to function properly. It’s a win for all: My boys get their activities, and I get my exercise!”

Aside from planning ahead, channeling your inner Elsa and “letting it go” is another stress reducing technique. As a parent, you certainly can’t do all or be all, so something has to go. Carly Hughes, Shawnee mom of two, agrees. “I’m learning to let things go more,” she says. “I just can’t do it all! I was/am a control freak, but trying to be in charge of everything just makes me too stressed out and anxious. I’ve said ‘no’ more, not worried as much if things don’t get done, and honestly, I’ve just ‘let’ my husband do more because I finally realized how much I need his help. Luckily, he was happy to take more on, and I couldn't be more thankful.” Letting it go might not mean asking your husband to help, but maybe for you it looks like setting a timer and cleaning what you can in 30 minutes. Or maybe it looks like hiring someone to clean your house once a month. It could look like you saying no to things, even if they are good things! It might even mean prioritizing yourself first.

Speaking of prioritizing yourself, the final secret for lessening stress is ... you guessed it … self care! We already know this, but why is it so hard to do? You may think you don’t have time for, or can’t afford, self care. You may feel unworthy of self care or not even know what it looks like at this stage of your life. But if you have ever heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” then you know how important taking time for yourself is. In fact, Melody Anderson, Overland Park mom of two, says this: “Humanizing ourselves as parents and taking a break, even for 60 seconds, can change how we handle a situation and how much stress builds up during the day.” A 60-second break can be as simple as walking outside for a breath of fresh air, sipping your coffee, lighting a candle or putting some music on. If you feel like you have a little more time for a break, try Jeanna Repass’s 10-minute stress relieving idea. An Overland Park mom of three, Repass shares, “A tip I use is 5 + 5 for 10. When I am super stressed, I tell myself 10 minutes is all I need. I do a five-minute devotion or prayer, which gives me five minutes to think about something other than what is causing me stress. Then, I put on a song—any kind of song—and lie flat on the floor and listen to the music for five minutes. That 10 minutes helps drain the stress away. The best and hardest part is the 10 minutes. Most of us don’t have any more than that to give.”

For others like Katie Horner, an Overland Park mom of two, self care is a way of life. “Being a wife, mom and teacher doesn’t leave much self care time. But when I set aside time for myself, I am a better person, which in turn helps me handle stress. For me, this looks like getting up every morning at 4:40 to work out. I use this time to work out because it is something I love to do that clears my mind and gives me a fresh start to every day. Any stresses, worries and concerns go out the door when I start my workout. Once I am done, I can take on anything!”

So there you have it! You are equipped to destress yourself! Only kidding, of course, because I know it’s not quite that simple. That stress has harmful effects on our bodies is no secret, so don’t delay trying to reduce it. Just pick one thing you can do today and one small action step you can put into place. Write it down in your planner or on your bathroom mirror or, better yet, tell a friend who can hold you accountable. Start the slow, but important, process of letting go of the stress in your life.

I guarantee you’ll be glad you did.

What causes the most stress in your life?

Julie Collett writes from her home in Overland Park, where she is a wife and mom of four. Stress is a daily part of her life, sometimes more than she would like it to be!

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