Sensible Enough to Stay Home Alone?

           If the idea of leaving your child home alone for the first time conjures up scenes from the infamous Home Alone movie of the ’90s, don’t worry! For many, leaving children home alone is not only an “earned” convenience of sorts for parents, but also a rite of passage for children. Although Kansas does not have an official legal age for leaving a child home alone, the listed guideline is age 6. However, according to Kansas Department for Children and Families (DCF), “Young children from 0-6 years should not be left alone for even short periods of time. Children 6-9 years should be left for only short periods, depending on their level of maturity. Children 10 and above probably can be left for somewhat longer periods …” The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends no child under the age of 12 be left home alone.

            Regardless of what age your family decides to leave your child home alone for the first time, consider some crucial things. Does your child know personal information, such as his full name, address, phone number and parents’ names? Does your child know household safety rules and basic first aid? Can your child use the phone to call you, a neighbor or 911?

A more extensive guide can be found at DCF.ks.gov/services. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a helpful place to start.

            Classes are also a great way to prepare your children for staying home alone. Check out local recreation centers in your area for in-person classes but know that online home alone safety courses are also offered. At KidproofSafety.com, you can register your child for a quick 27-minute course for only $32, which also includes a free parent guidebook. No matter what program or class you use, you’ll want your own set of household guidelines and rules in place, as well as clear expectations. “When my children were in grade school and I first left them home alone, we lived in a tight-knit cul-de-sac with many young families. I would not leave them alone for long: I would run to the grocery store or go for a jog. I made sure at least one adult neighbor was home and aware that my children would be home alone. My children treated this independence as a privilege, so they knew to always follow my rules of keeping the doors locked, staying indoors, having the phone accessible … and getting along!” says Polly, an Overland Park mom of two.

            Although guidelines and routines may vary from family to family, one thing seems to be common ground for everyone first leaving kids home alone: Begin with very small outings and work your way up. “I let my oldest stay home for the first time when he was around 10-and-a-half. I started with about 15 minutes, while I ran a quick errand, then gradually worked up to longer periods,” says Kristen, an Overland Park mom of three. “This past summer, I started letting all three children stay home for an hour or hour-and-a-half while I ran errands, but always had my phone with me and stayed close by.”

            Staying home alone is a milestone for your child and can be confidence building, but remember, what works for one family may not work for yours, and even what worked for your oldest may not work for your youngest. “The age at which we first leave our children home alone is a very personal decision that depends on the comfort level of both parent and child,” Polly reminds. Ultimately you know your child best, so stay away from comparing your situation to that of a friend or classmate. The important thing is not to push your child, but try when the time is right, ensure your child feels comfortable with the idea, and provide him with adequate training.   

Some other things to consider:

• Explicitly teach and review your rules and expectations, including those for technology, answering the door, etc. Don’t forget to remind your child to stay inside!
• Role-play various scenarios with your child ahead of time.
• Have a list of important numbers handy (yours, a neighbor’s, grandparents’, close friend’s, etc.).
• Keep a small, basic supply of first aid items in one location and show your child what is there and why.
• Be sure your phone isn’t on silent or vibrate!
• Give your neighbor a heads-up that your child is home alone and make sure she is willing to help if needed.
• High-five your child for a job well done (provided it does go well!) and reteach where you feel necessary.

Julie Collett has not yet experienced this milestone with her four children, but both dreads and looks forward to it!