Sharing Rooms: Yay or Nay?
Sharing a room with a sibling can be a strong memory. I remember asking to share a room with my sister, who was three years older, when I was around 5. We had moved to a new house (we moved a lot), and I decided I was scared in the room my parents put me in because my young mind imagined the older woman who had lived there dying in that room. I don’t know whether that was true, but my parents let me move my twin bed into my sister’s quarters. She demanded they put a divider between our beds, and we had that divider as long as I can remember!
I did love our late-night talks, sharing her clothes, listening to her records and trying to be like her. I don’t know what my childhood would have been like had we not shared rooms. My little sister came along seven years later, and she never shared a room. I believe her personality is different than mine and my older sister’s as a result, but as a middle sister, I love them both equally!
Many times, sharing a room is simply a necessity your house is short on bedrooms. Bunking together can be a great experience. For example, two little boys may play together and even fight on occasion, but they also will nurture each. Whether your children are all boys, all girls or a mix, they can all share at one time or another—and babies can always share. When kids are older, separate rooms are a good idea, as they need to develop their own identities.
A friend of mine told me his younger sister, who is the youngest with five older brothers, never shared a room. She represented the chance for his mom to have girl time. She did grow up as a tomboy, which makes perfect sense with all that testosterone in the house!
True, siblings can share a close bond without sharing a room, but living in the same space encourages them to spend time together. It also promotes sharing, and hopefully discourages one child from staking claim to favorite shared toys. Sharing space is a good life lesson and can help children later in years when they share a room in college or at camp.
Another bonus of having children share a room is freed-up space for your family to use for other needs, like a playroom, office space or a guest room. Plus, sharing allows for flexibility later on if your family grows. If you are planning to have another child, you will need space for a nursery, or perhaps an elderly family member will move in with you at some point. Having your children share a room now will be easier than taking their private rooms away later.
A big question in all this is figuring out the best time to separate opposite-sex children into their own rooms. Monitor where your children are developmentally and go from there. Often, once kids are in school, they become more aware of the need for modesty and feel uncomfortable changing in front of each other. By the time they reach puberty, that need for privacy and space should be fulfilled as much as possible. Sharing a room could increase body image concerns in growing, older children, and having a personal space where they can feel comfortable with their bodies is important.
You know your children better than anyone else, and that love will guide you in making your home a healthy, nurturing place. With everybody in their space!
We have discussed the pros, now think about these cons:
- Is one child a light sleeper while the other goes to bed later and wakes up the other? Remember, a well-rested child is a happy child.
- Combine interests! Your middle child might need his own space the most if his interests don’t overlap with his siblings. Two athletes can share a room, but the quiet, artistic sort might benefit from personal space.
- Homework. If they share a space, finding a quiet space to study can be a challenge with a shared room.
- Sleepovers or playdates. A 6-year-old girl may enjoy spending time with her friends, and her little sister is not always welcome to hang around. To avoid hurt feelings, make sure that shared room doesn’t get too crowded.
- Crowding. If all their clothes and toys won’t fit in the room, it’s time to separate them!
An avid outdoors girl, Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
Sources: MommyNearest.com, Healthline.com.