When Alison Rein celebrated her seventh birthday, she had a big shebang. But the party wasn’t just for her. Alison shared her birthday with the American Cancer Society (ACS) and used it to raise money for Relay for Life. “Alison was getting ready to turn seven and thinking about her party” explains her mother Linda, who co-chair’s the local Relay for Life. “She has always seen me do work for the cancer society. As we talked, we both thought it would be a good idea if friends, who would normally give her gifts, donated money instead to a good cause. And Alison naturally said, ‘How about Relay for Life?’”
Sophie Glass had a similar celebration. “About a year before my daughter’s birthday, we attended a friend’s charity birthday party and thought it was a pretty cool idea,” says Laura, mother of 5-year-old Sophie. “Since her birthday falls in the same month as Christmas and Hanukkah, we have often pointed out to Sophie that she receives more than other children do on their birthdays.” When it came time for Sophie’s birthday, Laura suggested a charity party. To her surprise, Sophie loved it. “I was going to just suggest the idea, then table it until next year, but it began a really healthy discussion.”
In an era where parties and presents abound, one of the best gifts parents can give their children is the seed of a benevolent heart. “Giving to others expands kids’ horizons and teaches them there are needs greater than their own,” says Linda. “If you have been incorporating benevolent giving in your family life, your child will probably take to the idea of a charitable party.” But she adds it should not be forced upon them. The child should be in agreement with the idea. “We wanted Alison to feel like she was sharing her birthday, not having it taken away from her.”
“Birthday parties are huge social collateral at this age,” Laura explains. “You don’t want your child to feel like he has to do it. You want him to walk away from it and feel good.”
If you present the idea of a charitable party to your child and he agrees, the next step is to choose an organization to support. For Alison, ACS was an obvious choice since her mother worked there. For the Glasses, there were more options to choose from.
“I told Sophie she could help pick the organization,” Laura recalls. “We talked about different facilities in our area and narrowed it down to one that helped children.” Laura then took Sophie there for a tour. “I wanted her to see that the children were really there. We met the director and toured the facility. After her party, she helped make the delivery.”
When choosing an organization, look for one that interests your child, one that is meaningful to him.. If a family member has benefited from a non-profit cause this may be a good choice. If he loves animals, find a local animal refuge. Once a facility has been chosen and contacted, find out what is needed. Sometimes it is monetary donations, other times it is specific items.
“The organization we went with provided us with profiles of the children so we could purchase things for them,” Laura remembers. These were sent out with the invitations explaining the party theme. “I liked the idea of having the guests purchase a gift rather than donating money. It let the kids still feel like they were part of the gift-giving process.”
“I sent out special Relay-for-Life invitations that said what we were doing,” recalls Linda. The invitations asked that guests bring money instead of gifts for the donation. “Whatever Alison’s guests would spend on a gift for her, we asked that they make a donation to ACS.” Of course, she received some gifts. “Family and close friends still gave her presents.”
To Alison’s delight, the party grew to great proportions. “Because of my ACS connection, I was able to get support from area businesses,” Linda explains. “A friend who is a DJ donated his time and provided music. We had games, giveaways, and face painting—all the things you would find at a first-grade birthday party.”
Sophie’s party was a bit hit too. “We let her invite as many friends as she wanted. It was really special for her.”
When the parties were over, both families were pleased with the results. “Sophie benefited from having the party,” Laura states. “But I think each kid who participated benefited too. It was the icing on the cake.” Then she adds, “Philanthropy doesn’t just happen. It has to be cultivated.”
Linda agrees. “I’m a cheerleader for the whole idea. This kind of giving is great for the child and will ultimately benefit other people.”
“After Sophie’s party, she was asked if she would do it again next year,” Laura concludes. “Her response was, ‘One year for me, one year for the kids, one year for me, one year for the kids…’”
-Denise Yearian is the mother of three children.