Congratulations! You have made it to another momentous occasion as a parent! Your sweet bundle has grown up to take on the next level of childhood! He is ready to take that first big step into kindergarten, and you are entering the school-aged phase of parenthood—but are you ready?
Are you feeling prepared for the year and stage ahead? I’m sending my third, and the baby of our family, off to his first day of kindergarten in the fall, so I just want to advise you to take a moment. Give yourself a pause to think back on all you’ve gone through as a parent to get to this point. Think of how amazing that kid of yours has turned out so far! Make sure you allow yourself some time to wrestle with any emotions you may have, such as fear, sadness, excitement, anxiety or pride before the big day. This is a big-deal-kind-of-day for your child as he embarks on this new adventure, but it’s also a big-deal-kind-of-day for you too.
First, think ahead to any traditions you would like to start or keep for the first day of school. For our family, we have a small blackboard, as well as a large t-shirt, with their graduating class year that we use to take first-day photos with each year. If this is something you’d like to do as well, have your supplies purchased ahead of time and message written out while you have a chance, before scrambling on that first day of school. I also suggest shopping for school supplies when the list first comes out to make sure you’re able to find them all. It’s usually mid-summer when you just want to enjoy the sunshine and not look ahead to fall quite yet, but it’s helpful to get the shopping done and items put away until you need them.
Books are always top on my list of ways to explain new ideas to my children, and going to school is no exception. Casey Frasser, mother of four, agrees: “Read books about school. There’s lots about going to kindergarten.” On the first day, make sure to allow for extra time to get everything ready and have the opportunity for all those pictures! Better yet, get everything ready the night before so you don’t forget anything you want to do or have your child take with him.
Then as your fledgling scholar heads into her new classroom, remember to keep a brave face, reassure her, be excited for her and don’t linger. Remind your child that you’ll come back and celebrate together later that day. Of course, there are different schools and ways to get to school. For my oldest, we walked up as a family and took her all the way to her classroom. The next day she asked if she could walk in by herself. I was a little surprised and sad but ultimately so proud she was showing her independence. My middle child got onto the bus with his older sister and looked out at me with tears pricking his eyes—that was a bit more emotional—but it was also the moment where we just ripped off the Band-Aid and off he went. He was so excited to be going to school like his sister and to have his own experience too.
The excitement may wear off after the first week or so, but remember to stay positive. Kindergartners often hit a rough patch the first couple of months up to the first semester of being completely exhausted from long days at school to which they haven’t yet adjusted. They are learning so much and around so much stimulation, so just make sure they do have that downtime when they come home. Sticking to a routine can be helpful and familiar since they have a pretty set routine at school every day. Guarding downtime, family time and early bedtimes can assist these tired tiny students. In addition to providing free time, consider choosing only one extracurricular activity or taking a break for the first couple months of school while your child adjusts. The breathing space can be helpful to kids, and it also cuts back on running to and fro to make it places on time for a little while. My son had always been my easy kid until he went to kindergarten and he was kind of a mess at home after school. It was a long transition for him, and we just realized he definitely requires more sleep. Making sure he got more sleep was helpful but challenging—who wants to go to bed earlier each night when it’s still light out or keep the family in from doing a fun activity? We’ve found, though, that having a happier kid is usually worth the sacrifice.
Lunch is another aspect of school to be prepared for. Will your child bring her own lunch or eat school lunch? I was shocked to see how quickly my children can blow through their school lunch money. Schools differ in their offerings, and our current school has a la carte items that are very enticing to newly independent kids. This was not a great idea in my opinion, and, apparently, I wasn’t alone. This past year they sent home a note for parents to deny permission for seconds or a la carte items. Kids still get plenty to eat and end up throwing too much away because they aren’t used to having to eat quickly. The lunchroom can be a distracting place to focus on eating your lunch, and most schools don’t have much more than 20 minutes for students to eat. Working on eating quick lunches over the summer leading up to school can help, and teaching your child to simply keep untouched food in his lunch box can help your grocery bill too. Our family rule is that the kids can choose two hot lunches each week and then they take their own lunches the rest of the week. I also made the rule that they needed to finish their lunches when they got home before they get a snack. They go through phases of eating, too, so don’t be alarmed if it seems like they bring home their entire lunch. Nowadays, they often have a couple of snacks during school, too, so they will figure it out. Having a plan for lunches and snacks has been helpful for our family. We have a list of lunch ideas to pack and a drawer with snacks that they can take for school. It also helps with knowing what to have on hand.
The amount of homework depends on your school, teacher and child, but your kindergartner will probably need some sort of assistance with homework. Parents will need to create a routine and expectations of when homework will be done at your house and that you are ready to give that time to helping your child. We haven’t experienced a lot, but those reading logs can require a lot of patience as your child is learning how to read. Just breathe, stay positive and maybe even break it up over the evening or alternate reading every other page with your child. For example, let him struggle through one page and then you read the next page to show him how, a little break, and speed up the process a little bit.
Another aspect of the school-aged years is the onslaught of paper coming into your house. The inundation can be intense, especially if you’re sentimental at all. We started early on by looking and sorting each day and recycling most of it after acknowledging how proud we were of what they did. As they got older, I would have them sort the papers themselves. The things we keep we put in a designated folder for the year, and then we sort it further at the end of the year. Come up with a plan for the paper that works for you and try to stick to it. There will be so much more so don’t be sad to recycle or toss most of it. You have my permission.
On top of the paper, be prepared to keep up with the technical side of school, including keeping up to date on school activities via email, calendar, social media and any additional apps your school or classroom teacher may utilize. Some of the classroom apps are really amazing, but all of it together can be overwhelming. Kelly Smoak, mother of two, suggests, “Get involved in the PTO. It’s the best way to know what’s going on at the school.”
Safety is another concept to go over with your child. Discuss inappropriate touching, not talking or going with strangers, and standing up for himself or asking a teacher for help. Just as important, remember the Golden Rule. Teach your youngster to look for the lonely kids that may need help making friends.
Remember, it’s kindergarten, they are still little kids, relax, enjoy, and do your best. You have many more years ahead of you—and don’t forget to celebrate with some ice cream! Our favorite is Sylas and Maddy’s.
Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 10, Mason, 8, and Slade, 5, and can’t believe they will all be in school this fall.