One of my closest friends recently adopted a little girl with cerebral palsy. Another dear friend of ours, an adult, also has C.P., but a much milder version. My children have been around friends and family with disabilities for years, but this month, meeting the little girl with C.P. brought about a myriad of new questions.
You see, our adult friend with C.P. can walk with a walker, eats what we eat, does what we do, and simply uses a scooter or wheelchair and has a speech impediment (but we're all so accustomed to it, I forget about this most of the time) as a result of his disability. When my girls first met our friend's new daughter, they saw the wheelchair and expected the little girl to be just like our adult friend. However, they soon learned that there were many differences. The little girl is restricted to a wheel chair, eats with a feeding tube, and wears a diaper.
This week, we met my friend and her daughter for a day of fun and my girls were immediately full of questions. Was she a big girl like them? She appeared to be. Or was she a baby? Her food was made in a bottle (and poured into a feeding tube where she was then fed through her bellybutton) and she wears a diaper. She's always in a wheelchair. Does she like the things other children like?
As the girls flooded us with questions, we did our best to answer as well as they could understand. We told them about the many things they shared in common... a love for music, favorite cartoons, stuffed animals, and pretty things. We explained that God made her that way and her mother does things to take care of her, like special feeding, so she'll be healthy. She eats and sleeps and grows, just like all children, but her needs are met differently. And, as a look of compassion swept over my little girl at the sight of the feeding tube, we assured her that it wasn't painful or cause for worry, that she is being lovingly cared for by her mommy. As we answered questions, we kept telling the girls that any time they have questions about someone else with special needs, it's perfectly fine to ask us or the other child's parents when they are curious and it's good to ask and learn (we don't want them making wrong assumptions that could hurt feelings). And I told them they should treat their new friend just as they would treat anyone else, simply remembering she can't do everything they can and to be patient.
By the end of the day the girls were talking about how much fun it was to meet their new friend and how neat it was that they liked so many of the same things.... whether we get around with wheels or tennis shoes, we have a lot in common.
How do you teach your children about special needs and disabilities? Any great tips to share?
Written by Kristina Light