The mere thought of hosting a slumber party is a common source of parental migraines. Uncertainty over what to feed the guests, what boundaries to set and what condition your house will be left in prompts many to put their foot down and ban sleep-overs at their home.
Imagine a sleep-over free of food fights, hurt feelings and stained rugs. Sound too good to be true? Guess again. These tips will help you and your children host a stress free slumber party that is sure to please.
Start out right
Be up front with your child and his guests. Clearly communicate your expectations for their behavior and spell out the schedule for the night's activities so all attendees understand your expectations. Let them know what time is ‘lights off’ and stick to it! Make sure that parents understand what time pick-up is the next morning and whether or not you’re providing meals, snacks or both during the sleep-over.
Know what page you’re on
“My seven year old daughter and her friends watched an ‘R’ rated horror movie at a friend’s sleep over,” says Trina Lambert. Make sure you understand the personalities and phobias of guests and discuss entertainment or activities that may be questionable with parents. “I never thought someone would show an R rated movie, especially a horror movie, at a 1st grade sleepover. My daughter was afraid of showers for years as a result,” Lambert adds.
Decode their psyches
Teen behavior psychologist, author, and father of a 15 year old son, Dr. Michael Bradley Psy.D., has worked with teens and their parents for 30 years. “Many times the peer pressure to fit in prompts children to act out at slumber parties,” he explains, “This can dampen the fun for everyone.” Consider the dynamics of the proposed attendees and how they relate to each other to hopefully prevent hurt feelings and tears. “Providing plenty of activity and a zero-tolerance for inappropriate behavior often dissuades would-be sleep-over spoilers,” says Dr. Bradley.
Twist old favorites
Twister Dance DVD by Hasbro reincarnates a favored sleep-over activity. Dance or traditional charades, karaoke and dance contests give the children an outlet to expend their energy and hopefully prevent everyone from being wide awake at 3:00 a.m.
Giggling girls
Marie Ortiz keeps samples of nail polish and lip gloss on hand for when her seven year old daughter’s friends spend the night. “Their entertainment usually revolves around hair and makeup. They love to decorate themselves in glitter and lip-gloss.” A supply of cotton balls, disposable swabs, and hair rubber bands, ribbons, clips and beads keeps young girls entertained for hours experimenting with their ‘new looks’.
Boys will be boys
Give budding scientists a bucket filled with various non-toxic household supplies to provide hours of ‘experimenting with potions’ over the bathtub or utility sink. Mom of three active boys Julie Rogier provides multi-functional party favors to entertain everyone. “I give each one a flashlight and a comic book or two at the pre-designated ‘lights out’ time to encourage them to stay quiet and in their sleeping bags,” she says.
Timing is everything
Consider what activities your child has participated in the day before a sleep-over, or what he might have on his schedule the day after. Many have found Friday night sleep-overs during the school year are easier to manage because the kids already had a full day's activity of school and tire out earlier. This also gives them the rest of the weekend to recuperate from the late night festivities before another school week begins.
Sooth anxiety
Jessica Landy Raymond, a party planning expert suggests offering homesick kids a series of steps before making the call to pick them up at 2:00 a.m. “Have the child sit quietly with you in another room, or pick out a comfort object from a special stuffed animal shelf. Offer them a private area to use the phone to call their parents,” says Raymond. Often times the chance to regroup soothes a reluctant child and provides the necessary time to calm down and enjoy the rest of the sleep over.
Capture the moment
Suggest everyone bring a disposable camera to snap candid pictures throughout the night. Older kids can use commemorate the event using one-time use camcorders (sold in most photo departments and super centers) that hold up to 20 minutes of video and sound.