Napoleon Hill once famously said, “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” For adults, goals are just part of the territory. After all, as people who have spent a great deal of time living our lives, we are acutely aware how precious time is. So, we set goals for ourselves to squeeze every last drop out of life we can. Vacation goals, fitness goals, educational goals, career goals and family goals. Those objectives become a central part of our existence as we continually reach for the next achievement.
But kids and goals? Eh, not so much.
Children don’t perceive time. They feel infinite. Days and years seemingly stretch on and on with no real importance or end. So what’s the point of a goal? The truth is, introducing the act of setting—and more importantly achieving—goals at a young age will set the stage for a more organized and self-aware life. Additionally, kids begin to learn accountability, dedication and reward all at the same time. Now that’s a setup for a pretty great future.
Keep it simple
For a small child, the word “goal” can mean a lot of things. Most associations involve a round black and white ball or a brown oblong-shaped ball. Take a few moments to fully explain that, at its heart, a goal is simply something you decide you want and must work hard to get by a specified time. Give examples: saving $20 for a new toy, keeping the bedroom clean for one week without help from Mom and Dad or learning to snow ski by the end of winter break. These goals can be wildly different from child to child based upon unique personalities and interests. The best part? What kids decide they want is a window directly into their brains, so open it up!
Identify different goal levels
Kids love new ideas and might need to be restrained from aiming too high at the beginning. Evaluate together what is possible now versus what may be defined as a dream or bucket list item. This generally comes down to what children can control versus what they cannot. Although a goal of going on a Disney cruise is admirable, a child cannot control vacation schedules and family financial capabilities. However, saving allowance money to see Disney on Ice? That’s attainable with dedication and hard work—and without the contribution of others.
Use checkpoints to stay on task
The novelty of a new idea can wane quickly. Your child might be super excited that her goal is to read an entire book in three weeks by reading a chapter per night, but soon enough, she wants to skip the nightly reading. Divide the book into four quarters with bookmarks to visibly mark progress and encourage her to keep going all the way through to the end!
Learn from the losses
The whole point of a goal is to reach for something challenging that requires an additional amount of action, restraint or focus on the goal-setter’s part. Those parameters mean the possibility of failure is present. If that happens, your child might be upset or get down on himself. Encourage him by sharing in the loss together. Look back at the action steps he took to meet his goal and discover where he fell short—and why. You may also help ease the disappointment by sharing an experience when you missed your own goal and how you learned from it.
Though a missed goal might seem like a negative, rest assured it is vital for the growing process. If someone reaches every goal she sets, she simply isn’t aiming high enough. The process of taking the leap and missing occasionally is all part of learning more about yourself, your limits and your abilities.
Celebrate the wins
The best part of setting a high goal? Absolutely crushing it. When a child puts in the work and pushes through setbacks to achieve the goal, there’s nothing better. Whether the objective is in sports, academics or regular daily life, each one is important and motivates your child to aim even higher next time. And though you may give kids a push to stay on target, ultimately it’s their choice to stick to the plan and get the job done. And that’s pretty amazing.
Be sure to celebrate the victory, even if it’s a small one. The feeling of joy and pride in a job well done is cumulative and ultimately adds up to a better, more focused and happier child—and, someday, adult. So keep setting goals with your child and reaching them together. Both of you will benefit and learn from each other now and hundreds of goals down the road.
Easy Goals Your Child Can Start Tonight
Activity-based
- Do 10 jumping jacks and 10 sit-ups before school or before bed for two weeks. Too easy? Bump it to 15. Keep adding on until you get to 50.
- Walk the dog three times this week without being reminded. Bonus: Feed the dog, too.
- Run around the block (with an adult) two times each week for one month. Add on a loop each week until you get to four times around the block, twice a week. Hint: Create a chart that shows the progress from week to week. Celebrate the wins for both of you!
Academia
- Choose a book (or books) to start today and finish in one week.
- Finish a school assignment early (minimum one day).
- Read a book not assigned by a teacher this week.
- Learn every spelling word on the weekly list this week and get an A+ on the spelling test.
Daily Life
- Order from a restaurant without help from a parent three times in a row.
- Learn to cook a recipe this week and make the meal without help next week.
- Make school lunch for yourself the entire week without help.
- Save enough money or do enough chores to earn a begged-for toy.
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and son.