Last Friday, Tori came home from school and said she had a lot of homework. She was spending the weekend with grandma and grandpa, so I told her not to worry about it until she got home on Sunday. I thought it was a little odd for her to have homework over the weekend as her teacher doesn’t typically assign that much (thanks Ms. Nusbaum!!). When Tori has homework like this it is usually because she didn’t get her work finished on time at school (which is a little bit of an issue for her, but that’s another story for another day).
So Sunday rolls around, Tori is home and gets ready to begin on her homework. Only she can’t find several of the things she is supposed to complete. She panics and the tears start flowing, “I have to get it done”, “I’m going to be in so much trouble if I don’t have it” and so on. Now she has a tendency to be a worrier and I reassure her that she won’t be in trouble, that everyone forgets things and makes mistakes and that all she needs to do is explain to her teacher what has happened. This doesn’t seem to help. She carries on for a good 45 minutes. She really, really, really wants me to write a note to her teacher explaining what has happened. I tell her I’m not going to, that she is old enough to handle this on her own. With her I have a hard time knowing if the dramatics are for my benefit or the real deal, but she usually doesn’t go on this long, so I am beginning to get unsure. I ask Ty what he thinks-should I call around to friends and see if anyone has the missing papers I can copy, should I write a note to her teacher explaining what happened or should I let her deal with it on her own? Now I know intellectually which is the correct option, but when it’s your first born so upset, you begin to doubt yourself. Luckily for me Ty is a wonderful balance to my self-doubt and he reassures me that she should be able to handle this on her own.
Everything quiets down until bedtime. Tori is packing up and I notice a note she has written to her teacher explaining what has happened. I comment to her that writing the note is a great way to handle the situation. She gets in bed, we begin prayers and I pray for her that she finds peace and doesn’t worry about talking with her teacher in the morning and that she remembers God will be with her to help her through. I notice at the end of prayers that she is fighting back tears. I ask her if she is nervous about tomorrow, and the flood gates open and my heart is breaking. I, of course, want to fix it for her but know deep down that she can take care of it on her own (and should). I did email her teacher to tell her the back story but told her I was letting Tori handle it all on her own.
Monday she goes off with the more tears. Ty and I both give her a pep talk and try to be as encouraging as we can. I thought about her all day and her teacher was kind enough to email and let me know that everything went well and that Tori handled the situation all on her own. I never knew growing up (for mom and child) could be so difficult!