Childhood is fleeting. It arrives quickly and leaves even faster. Just a few short months ago, one of the biggest parenting fears was that we were so busy, scheduled and on-the-go-exhausted that we were missing pivotal childhood moments that we’d never get back.
So, someone rubbed the genie’s lamp and asked for more time with our children. And we got it. There’s a reason for the saying “Be careful what you wish for.”
Times have officially changed. Rather than running from sports events to private lessons to birthday parties, we’re mostly standing still. At home. Together. And as the nation slowly begins to reopen, parents have been given a gift. The gift of time with their children. Here’s a reminder of how to stop and enjoy the parenting, even when things are uncertain.
Stop and See the Funny
When you’re working and schooling from home, you have plenty of opportunities to see disaster and chaos. Try to turn those moments on their head by finding the humor in the situation. When your child accidentally dumps a glass of milk on the counter, halt the default reaction of critique and frustration. Take a breath and know that these moments must occur so that, someday, your child will learn how to keep them from happening. Dip some Fruit Loops in the milk that’s still on the table—not the floor—and show your child you can make some darned good cereal out of spilt milk.
Make a Reservation
When it seems like all you have is time with your kids, be sure to carve out time that is just for them. Maybe it’s just one single hour in the evening. Put your phone down, turn the TV off, and focus on them only. Play a game they want to play, not one that you prefer. (I can’t be the only one who hates playing Sorry.) Make a pizza together. These moments to spend together are passing quickly; take advantage before they’re gone.
Mess It Up
I can feel the cringes already, but hear me out. Kids have been cooped up for months, away from their friends, away from extended family and away from the “let off steam” time they’ve known their entire lives. So go on, encourage a Tasmanian Devil moment. Let them dump the entire contents of their Lego bin onto the floor. Let them throw pillows or stuffed animals from the second floor down to the first floor. Make slime. Build a fort. Scream together at the top of your lungs. Color outside the lines on purpose. Eat cookie dough with your fingers. Do something that deconstructs perfection. Let messy rule the day—or at least the hour.
Allow Discovery
The calendar always shows something “up next.” Our constant to-do lists pose a very real threat to our children’s sense of self-discovery. Several weeks ago, my son was taking forever to get out of the car. I started to raise my voice and tell him to hurry it up, but something stopped me. The look on his face as he stood in the threshold of the door was inquisitive and pensive. I asked him what was wrong, and he said, “Nothing, but what is that?” He pointed to a bug on the pavement. It wasn’t a special bug by any means, but it was one he had never seen before. I lowered him from the car, and we examined the insect together for several moments. He asked me questions to which I did not have the answers, and then he gave the bug a name: Beetle-Scorpion. He was thrilled. This entire encounter added only two minutes to my schedule, and I nearly missed it. Don’t miss it.
Get Out of Your Own Way
I am not a Pinterest mom. My cookies are never Instagram worthy and you will never see me spontaneously create a craft from items around my house. However, I’m aware that children love nothing more than to create—with their parents. Consider trying a recipe or activity you can execute with relative precision and just do it. If or when you fail, don’t you dare try to hide it. Don’t huff and puff at your imperfections. Say, “Well, this pinwheel didn’t come out like the picture, but I actually like ours even better!” Showing our kids how to fail as much as we succeed is integral to ensuring they become self-aware and humble adults. Fail in front of them and have fun with it. Overthinking gives you premature wrinkles anyway.
We have a finite number of minutes, hours and seconds with our children that they actually want to share with us. We too easily can convince ourselves we can do this later, create that in a minute and try out that thing next week. If the current state of the world is any indication, time with our kids is more precious than ever. The next 10 years aren’t a given, nor are the next 10 minutes. Get over yourself, your insecurities and your self-inflicted impossible standards. Be a kid with your kid. Time with them is more important than any conference call or climb up the corporate ladder. Seize the moments while they’re here and laugh the entire time.
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with
her husband, stepdaughters and son.