Raising kids is one of the most life-changing and rewarding times of your life, but it can also be the most exhausting and draining as well. Moms typically make their kids their top priority, putting them above their own needs and wants, but moms need to make time for themselves so they can continue to be at their best when it comes to supporting and taking care of their families. Moms, it’s time to make you a priority.
Why
Your mental health is important
Being a mother has its emotional highs and lows. Your body goes through amazing changes, both physically and mentally, during pregnancy, birth and the years that follow. It is important for moms to make their mental health a priority. Ask your significant other or a trusted friend to help you monitor when you are struggling. Ask for help if you feel you are not at your best emotionally. Taking care of your family on a day-to-day basis can drain your emotional reserves, but when you have participated in activities that make you feel happy and healthy, it is easier to be attentive and supportive to those around you.
Your physical health is a priority
If you are physically exhausted, being patient with your kids or getting anything productive accomplished at home or work becomes that much harder. Getting good rest, exercising and eating healthy are important for moms to feel their best. It’s also important for moms to prioritize their health by visiting the doctor and dentist, and keeping other appointments to maintain health on a regular basis. So often moms will delay their own scheduled doctor visits to make time for their families, but routine checkups can prevent issues before they arise.
How to make yourself a priority
Find your tribe
Having a group of friends that understand what it’s like to raise children, work, maintain a healthy lifestyle and commit to a loving marriage is important for moms to feel “normal” and supported. Moms groups (like MOPS), online meetups or groups, book clubs or church groups are great places to meet and connect with other moms who share common ground.
Set aside time
Between errands, extracurricular activities, housework and spending time with your kids, setting aside time for yourself can seem an impossibility. Spending time alone, with your spouse (without your kids) and with friends is so important for moms to feel energized for another day. Add time for you to the family calendar to assure it happens on a regular basis and any childcare needs are met.
Exercise
A good exercise routine not only keeps you healthy and fit, but it can also help you feel better about yourself, as well as give you an extra energy boost for the long days of mothering. Taking time for exercise can also give you a chance to be alone and listen to a podcast, audiobook or music you enjoy while working out. If your exercise takes you outside, you also get an added boost of vitamin D which has been proven to help you feel happier too.
Treat yourself
Moms work hard. Allow yourself a treat such as a coffee, a new outfit, a fresh haircut, a pedicure or a sweet on occasion. Giving yourself permission to treat yourself can boost your mood and acknowledge that you work hard and deserve something special. You don’t have to spend a lot of time or money, it’s more about putting yourself first in a small way.
Talk to someone
Sometimes we just need someone to talk to about our feelings and what is going on in our lives, someone with whom to share the details of everyday life. One way moms make themselves a priority is to find a friend or family member to chat with on a regular basis. A counselor can be a great person to talk to If you have a lot to work through, have dealt with depression or feel like you could use some unbiased advice.
Ask for help
Moms are used to helping others, and many of us have a hard time reaching out and asking for help. However, when a friend asks, we are the first to offer assistance. Give others a chance to help you. Set up a carpool so you are not always the one playing taxi with the kids for their after-school activities, accept help when offered or trade babysitting with a friend so you can have a date night. If your significant other offers to help out around the house, let him, even if it isn’t exactly the way you would have done it. Accepting help can be a big relief and can give moms the chance for some much needed time to focus on themselves.
Take up a hobby
What do you love to do? Many moms find they have forgotten the hobbies they used to enjoy prior to kids. Make time for yourself and your interests. Seek out an old hobby or find a new one—reading, running, sewing, scrapbooking—whatever activity gets you excited is what you need to make time for. Whether you do your hobby with a group of friends or on your own, you will not regret making time for something important to you.
It’s not possible to put yourself first all the time when you are a busy mom, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn't set aside some time to make yourself the priority. As your mental and physical health and well-being thrive, you will be a better mom overall.
Quick Ways to Boost Your Mood
After taking care of your family’s needs, working and doing household chores, moms can feel like their gas tank is running on empty, which drains energy and mood. Here are some quick ways to boost your outlook.
- Sing along. Turn up your favorite song and sing along. Dancing and singing are sure to boost your mood.
- Laugh it off. Call a friend who always makes you laugh. If your child is doing something frustrating, try to laugh it off. Turn on a funny TV show or podcast. Laughter is the best medicine.
- Take a bath. A relaxing soak in the tub is always a good mood booster and can help tense muscles relax, a physical feel-better.
- Take a walk. Physical exercise and a break from your house and chores are a great way to change your mood.
- Let it go. Do you have piles of dishes and laundry to do? Is it overwhelming? Let it go. You can’t leave it forever, but you can for now. Find something fun to do instead, just for the day. You might find after a break away, you come back to it with a better attitude.
- Take a nap. There is nothing better than a nap to help you recharge your batteries. If your baby is sleeping, take the time to rest as well. If you have older kids, put in a movie and rest next to them on the couch. You will feel recharged and ready for the rest of the day.
Sarah Lyons is a part-time freelance writer and full-time mom. She lives in Olathe with her family.