If you’re sighing in frustration while your child is laughing hysterically, it’s possible potty talk is to blame. Read on to find out how to help put an end to this common behavior.
When does potty talk start?
Amy Hyken-Lande, a child and family therapist at Kids, Inc. in Overland Park—and mother to a 5-year-old son—says, “Potty talk usually begins around preschool age.”
Where do children learn this type of behavior?
Hyken-Lande, who specializes in working with children ages 3-14, says, “Children generally mimic what they have seen and heard.” Children can pick up new language from friends, television and even parents or other family members.
Why do children use potty talk?
Children are “trying on something new” when they use potty talk, according to Hyken-Lande. She says they are typically trying to get a reaction from others. Even if the reaction is negative, the child will have still gotten a response.
What are some strategies for minimizing and ending potty talk?
Parents and other caregivers can help children end potty talk by being good models. Barb Huggins, a mother of four in Lenexa, says that she is also careful to remind her older children to be positive role models for her 4-year-old son. She explains that the older children have a better understanding of when it might be okay to be silly with such words; however for her youngest child, “It comes out at the wrong time.”
Of course, just like children don’t always do the right thing, as Hyken-Lande points out, parents aren’t perfect either. When parents do slip up, she urges them to take responsibility and explain that they said an ugly word. Remind children that such language is “often hurtful.” In addition to being good examples, she urges parents to closely monitor what their children are watching on television.
If children persist in using potty talk, Hyken-Lande suggests sending children to a “think spot” where they can spend some time thinking of “kind” words. They are free to leave the think spot once they are able to say kind words.
Finally, Hyken-Lande urges parents to “always catch your kids being good and praise them.” She assures that this will increase their positive behaviors. “Have patience and be consistent, this too shall pass,” she adds.
Elizabeth Welter lives in Olathe with her husband and three young children where she encourages the use of kind words.