Stress is second nature to adults, but sometimes we forget that our kids deal with it as well. Stress can have a huge effect on how well kids perform at school, sleep at night and even their physical health. If we can decrease the stress level in our families, that’s ideal! However, stress isn’t always something that can be avoided.
Instead of teaching our kids to dread stress, we can better serve them by helping them learn to cope with and manage it. Read on for some simple strategies that you can implement at home to help your child feel less stressed.
Acknowledge the Stress and Talk It Out
Sometimes, something as simple as saying “I know you are stressed. Do you want to talk about it?” can have a calming effect. We all want to be acknowledged, but maybe your child isn’t quite sure how to share the anxiousness that he is dealing with. A gentle prompt can open the door for good, productive conversation—and a chance to see whether there is something that can be done to help lower the stress level.
Give a Head’s Up
For kids who have trouble adjusting to new situations or changes in routine, giving a warning that a transition is coming provides them time to mentally prepare for it. We adults never like when someone expects us to adjust immediately to a change in plans. Why would we expect kids to do well with it? In our home, we often use a 5-minute warning as a way to move to the next activity.
Dance-Off
We’ve all heard that exercise for adults can help with many issues, including stress. It’s also a fantastic way for kids to express some of their energy and angst in a physical way without hurting anyone. China Mortell, Louisburg, uses the exercise strategy to help her four kids, 8 and younger, to handle stress. “In intense situations, we do a dance-off, which normally ends up with everyone laughing and the stress being gone,” she says
Firm Massage
Another strategy is to use firm pressure or massage with kids who can’t handle a situation anymore. We keep a handheld massager at home to use on our son’s back and limbs when he is frustrated and can’t cope. If we are out and about, holding him with our arms wrapped around his torso can provide enough positive pressure to relieve the negative stress that he can’t deal with.
White Noise or Soft Music
Soft music or white noise such as ocean waves can be very peaceful to kids. Music certainly does affect moods, so harnessing those softer sounds can be an easy way to help with stressors in the moment. Be prepared by having a nice selection of gentle music on hand or download a white noise app on your phone for easy access.
Count
A favorite device of parents everywhere is a good old countdown. When stress pops up and anxiety rises to the surface, older kids can take deep breaths as they count back slowly from 10. Carolyn Macan, Roeland Park, uses this strategy with one of her kids. “We will look in each other’s eyes and count…once we hit three counting backwards from 10, we are back on track.” The simple act of counting shifts the focus away from the situation at hand and gives kids a chance to disengage from the stress for a moment.
Essential Oils
Keeping a few bottles of essential oils handy is another great way to help lower kids’ stress. Lavender, orange, frankincense and many others have helped kids (and parents!) relax and enjoy their day more. Try diffusing an essential oil when you can tell stress levels are rising for a child. Your house will smell great, and your kids will feel more relaxed!
Rebecca Ishum lives in South Kansas City with her husband and 4-year-old quadruplets. With special needs kids and a crazy life, she is all too familiar with stress management strategies! You can read more about their adventures at ABeautifulRuckus.com.