The list of things to do before baby’s arrival can seem endless. That is exactly why it might be important to add just one more thing to that list—a babymoon!
Heather Underwood, office manager and travel and cruise consultant at Lenexa’s Travel Concepts, Inc., says, “A babymoon is a getaway for the couple when they know they are expecting a baby but they want to get away for a romantic getaway before the baby arrives.” The trip might be a luxurious vacation or a quick weekendescape. Regardless, it should be a relaxing and refreshing time for the couple. Underwood adds that nine times out of 10, her clients say a babymoon was exactly what they needed.
Benefits of a Pre-Baby Getaway
Allison Phillips, a Leawood mom of four boys, managed to get away with her husband before three of her boys were born. “We knew I would be breastfeeding and wouldn't get to go on a trip for a long time,” says Phillips. The benefits of their trips lasted after they returned home. “When we have those hard, long days, it’s something nice to look back on,” she explains.
Grant Wood, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist and founder of the Resonate Relationship Clinic in Overland Park, says, “A getaway is a great idea in that it provides a change of scenery and an opportunity for couples to remind themselves of the importance of their friendship. Even though baby is coming, the couple relationship still needs to be cultivated and protected.” The time away provides the couple with an opportunity to prepare for the upcoming changes to their family. Wood explains, “Couples will benefit from talking clearly and openly about what they feel they will need from each other during this next stage of development.” He suggests asking questions such as “how do they want to keep their friendship and romance vitalized?” He adds that “couples will benefit from identifying several books to read together.” He highly recommends And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives, by John and Julie Gottman.
In addition to taking time to have meaningful discussion, couples should also take time for rest and relaxation. “Couples also need to set aside plenty of time to simply celebrate, pamper themselves, relax and do nothing.” Wood says. “Couples need to acknowledge that they are headed into the unknown and there will be no way to fully understand or prepare for the days to come.” Wood acknowledges that the physical benefits of a babymoon “will most likely not last when the sleep deprivation hits. Couples will be more at risk to fall into criticism, defensiveness or contempt in these moments.” However, a trip to focus on each other before the baby arrives sets a tone that the couple’s relationship is a priority. He continues by saying that a couple’s relationship “will survive and thrive when the new parents choose instead to foster positive sentiment and guard their friendship with fondness, affection, appreciation, patience, thanksgiving, selflessness and encouragement.”
What to Look for in a Babymoon
Expectant parents should plan a trip that suits both their needs and budget. A babymoon might be a week-long stay at a resort or a quick weekend road trip.
If a more elaborate vacation is in order, Underwood recommends visiting upper end properties. She advises couples to look for a property that caters to adults since they will be spending a lot of time with children over the next several years. She also suggests looking for resorts that have spas and golf courses, explaining that a pregnant woman will likely want to engage in more relaxing activities. It’s also important to check and see whether a spa offers prenatal massages. “Sometimes a pregnant woman just wants her legs rubbed,” explains Underwood.
Underwood also stresses that before traveling, women should check with both their doctor and any travel companies involved in their vacation. Policies differ among airlines and cruise lines. Most cruise lines will not let you travel in your third trimester.
Safe Travel
Dr. Randy Sheridan, a physician at Johnson County OB/GYN, says, “Traveling itself, to my knowledge, isn’t harmful in pregnancy.” However, he adds that “a good rule of thumb is to stay close to home in the last six to eight weeks of pregnancy. You never know when labor begins.”
According to Sheridan, women report feeling most comfortable while traveling between weeks 12 and 25 of their pregnancies. At this time, morning sickness has generally subsided, energy has returned and the average pregnant woman still feels comfortable. Still, Sheridan advises women to “be extra smart about things.”
Safe Travel Tips for Pregnant Women
- Check with your doctor before traveling.
- If traveling by car, stop and walk every one to two hours.
- Drink plenty of fluids.
- Set aside time to rest.
- Know where the nearest hospital is at your destination.
Elizabeth Welter lives in Olathe with her husband and three children. She highly recommends a babymoon.