Embracing Minimalism as a Parent

The holidays are officially over, and I usually become a bit somber when all the holly jolliness is taken down and put into storage bins until next fall. However, even though the new year begins in the dead of winter, I do find solace in the fact that January offers a fresh start, a much-needed kick-in-the-pants motivation when it’s frigid outside. January makes me think of words like blue, white, clean and organized. With the holiday decor put away, the house tends to feel bare at first but then clean and spacious after some time passes. But because we’ve just celebrated the holidays, we parents have MORE stuff to put away and find homes for.

Christmas has given me more mom anxiety each year, and last year I attempted to address the issue in a tactful way. You see, we have pretty much lived states away from all our family during our parenthood journey. We also are extremely blessed that our kids have four grandparents and six great-grandparents who like to lavish love on them. This is wonderful except for the little fact that our kids have far too many toys, and all the grandparents can’t visit very often to see what toys our kids already have. As their mom, I have to find a home for everything and keep things organized and accessible. Yes, my kids do pick up after themselves, but guess who must keep instructing them to do so and advising where things are supposed to go?  I realized I was spending more time sorting, organizing, purging and being stressed out than I was being the kind, patient mom I want to be who has time to play with my children.

Around this time last year, my husband and I watched Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things on Netflix. We started purging everything, and it was freeing. Did I need three pie pans when I barely make more than two pies a year?  How many spatulas does one family need?  What toys are overlooked that another child could enjoy instead?  We sell or donate so regularly now that every time I take a picture of something my kids ask if I’m selling it.

My kids are also very involved in sorting through their toys and clothes frequently. A good rule of thumb is to look at what you could part with before Christmas and birthdays. This allows hesitant children a reason to let go, making room for new toys heading their way. If your kids hold on tight to toys just when you it’s time to sell or donate them, try cleaning up their rooms for them while they’re away from the house. Put items you’d like to get rid of in a tub and keep out of sight for a month. If they haven’t missed the items, I’d say you are safe to purge. The fact is that the less you have, the less time you spend cleaning up. This is a truth bomb moms need to hear!  Children actually enjoy an uncluttered space to play too.

A child’s birthday party also brings an onslaught of toys. I tend to want to avoid parties altogether for this reason (and do every other year) but instead decided to risk coming across as particular for sanity’s sake. For my daughter’s sixth birthday party we put on all invitations, “Your presence is present enough unless you would like to help Layla start her Pinkalicious book collection.”  This gives other weary parents an easy out but also gives well-meaning gift givers some direction. Remarkably, all but one of her friends gave her Pinkalicious books without any duplicates!  I also advise explaining your gift guidelines to your child before the party so she knows what to expect.

Another great idea is having a fiver birthday party, as described by Sarah Schultz at NurseLovesFarmer.com. The idea is similar to help cut down on toy clutter by having everyone gift $5 toward a more expensive toy the birthday boy/girl would really like. Kids love money, and it’s an easy and affordable option for most families.

Now, on the flip side, if you are requesting less junk in your home, I think it’s only fair to apply the same principle in giving gifts. We tend to give gift cards to local ice cream shops, make-your-own pottery places, local toy stores and Chick-fil-A. I will be honest: My kids don’t find it as fun to give a decorated envelope to their friends, but in my opinion, the party is about having fun together, not the gifts.

If you need some more encouragement, I recommend following Becoming Minimalist on Facebook. They post some great quotes such as, “If you have to buy stuff to store your stuff, you might have too much stuff.”

Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 7, Mason, 5, and Slade, 2, and writes from her home. You can check out more of her writing at LettersFromTheLouxs.blogspot.com.