Learning to Walk

Considering that most kids start walking around the time of their first birthday (isn’t that what the milestone charts tell us?), I started to become concerned when my daughter (and first and only child) was 15 months old and not yet taking her first steps.

Shouldn’t she be skipping on the playground, climbing the stairs and romping through the yard?

Even though I know you’re not supposed to – it was hard not to compare her to other kids – especially since there is such pride in boasting that your own child has mastered something BEFORE all of the other children. It seemed like all the other 1-year-olds we knew were walking – some had even begun as early as 9 months. I shared my frustrations with my girlfriends – who all cautioned me not to be in such a hurry – because once she started walking, my life would never be the same. If only I had taken their advice.

Early on, my dear daughter had her own unique way of getting around. By 9 months, she was boot-scooting across the floor on her bottom to reach her desired destination.

A week after her first birthday, the boot scoot was replaced with crawling, that soon developed into “knee walking.” This new mode of transport – which consisted of my daughter shuffling along on her knees from Point A to Point B, prompted stares of amazement from other moms at Gymboree and indoor playgrounds all over town. My insecurity reared its ugly head, and I wondered why she wasn’t walking like the other kids. Was it my fault?

Knee walking not only took its toll on my psyche, but on my baby’s knees, which were lathered up with lotion daily to soften the calluses. Obviously playing outdoors was a challenge as knee walking was not the most practical way to get around on concrete or in the dirt.

When she still was not walking on her feet at 16 months, the pediatrician suggested a physical therapy evaluation – which did little to calm my nerves.

During the weeks leading up to the appointment, I convinced myself that there must be something physically wrong with my little girl, and she would never walk. My husband thought I’d gone off the deep end, and urged me to relax, but patience has never been my strong suit.

All the while, my little knee walker went about her business – happily getting where she needed go to – and very quickly I might add.

By the time the appointment arrived, she had begun pulling herself to a standing position, but would quickly return to her knees, which had proven to be a very reliable way for her to get around.

The physical therapist watched closely as she asked our little girl to retrieve items across the play mat and up on shelves. Our daughter responded very carefully, grasping items in a very calculating fashion, but ultimately chose to deliver the toys to us on her knees.

We worked with her for several weeks before returning for a follow-up appointment. Our sweet 18-month-old was moving in the right direction, more consistently pulling up on her feet, and expressing more interest in standing fully upright, so the therapist determined there was nothing physically wrong with her. Diagnosis: she was a very cautious child and would not attempt new things (i.e. walking on her own) until she was sure she could master them.

Simultaneously, I felt a sense of relief and a surge of impatience. When would she be ready to do this on her own? Would I have the only 2-year-old in town running around Chuck E Cheese on her knees?

The baby books all talked about the “normal” time frame for kids to reach certain milestones – they said nothing about personalities factoring into the equation. Maybe they should give Myers-Briggs testing to babies and toddlers so parents can be prepared to deviate from the norm.

A few weeks later, my husband and I took our daughter to a football game-watching party at a local tavern. By this time, she would walk as long as one of us was holding her hand. She spent much of the game parading us both around the restaurant – prompting smiles from the other patrons. At one point, we had taken a break from our expeditions to watch a good play in the game. When we looked up, our tentative little walker was halfway across the restaurant! She had walked on her own! My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief. After weeks and months of coaching, she had chosen this time to set off on her own (and she wouldn’t stop – she walked around and around the restaurant for about an hour, until she wore herself out). Not privy to all the baby books and milestone charts I’d been agonizing over she had chosen to take this big step – in her own time and on her own schedule.

I spent months wishing she would walk, instead of just enjoying her time as a baby, and ignoring warnings that my life would never be the same once she was mobile. At the time, all I could think about was how her new-found mobility would free up my arms for other things and save my back from all the heavy lifting. How quickly things change.

A recent afternoon of shopping turned into a game of hide-and-seek under clothing racks, as I sprinted through the store trying to corral a squirmy toddler who was squealing with laughter at the sight of her out-of-breath mommy.

As I chased my daughter around the store, I realized three things: 1) It’s a good idea to wear running shoes when shopping with a toddler; 2) you should pay attention to your girlfriends’ advice, and 3) my little baby had officially become a little girl.

At that time, part of me ached for the days of crawling and knee-walking, and wished I had cherished that stage instead of being so anxious for her to reach the next milestone. Now I wish she would slow down – because my baby is growing up way too fast.