The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Loveys

When my quadruplets were only a few months old, a nurse friend suggested we get each child a special lovey. I’m so glad I listened to her advice! The doggie, blankie, traditional lovey and two stuffed bunnies that my kids have adopted have ended up being an amazingly special part of their lives. But loveys aren’t without their cons too. Take a look at some reasons why you might want to incorporate them, and how to avoid potential minefields in the process!

Perhaps the best reason to get loveys for your kids is because they provide a sense of security. Kendra Moberly, Kansas City, points out that from a child’s perspective, the world is constantly changing and seems out of control. She says, “The world is big and fast-paced for little ones, and loveys are the one thing that is a constant and a good comfort when things start feeling a little overwhelming.” When all else fails, they still have their trusty friends to hold onto. Sometimes putting a little bit of control in their court is all that is needed to make their day a little easier.

Loveys are also marvelous at helping kids learn how to self-soothe. Meredith Harold, Kansas City, loves the self-soothing that loveys promote. “Those monkeys calm her down when she's upset and keep her in bed when she doesn't want to sleep,” she says. They provide a means for kids to learn how to function independently. That’s good news for moms who need a little break, and even better news for littles ones who just need a tool to help them self-regulate.

But loveys aren’t without their downsides. Sometimes kids become overly-attached to their loveys and find themselves unable to sleep or function without them. Placing boundaries on where loveys are allowed to go helps kids understand they can function without them when needed. When my kids were little, we let them take their loveys with them when we went out but never allowed them to come to the table for meals. Now that my kids are 5, their loveys have to stay in their bedrooms or the living room and no longer leave the house. Learning coping techniques outside of having loveys is a healthy skill for kids to develop as they grow older.

The other potential issue with bringing loveys into a child’s life is when they turn up missing. Elizabeth Williams, triplet mom from Lee’s Summit, recounts the lengths to which she went to find a duplicate for a 25-cent lovey she found at a garage sale. It took her hours of research to finally find a duplicate of the special horse—and $25 to purchase it.  Every parent of a child with a lovey knows that a price tag can’t be placed on having a duplicate if the original suddenly takes a vacation. Loveys easily become their little owners’ best friends. Having the duplicate packed away in the closet could come in very handy one day!

A child equipped with a lovey can create amazing adventures and beautiful “together” memories. At the age of 32, I still remember and have held on to my two loveys from when I was a kid. In fact, one of my sons now sleeps with one of them: my green teddy bear from my childhood.

We asked KC Parent’s 44,000+ Facebook fans about their kids’ loveys. Here are some of the cute stories they shared.

My son has a small monkey he sleeps with every night. When he was 2 and potty training, I heard a flush in the bathroom and then, "Monkey went down the potty." My husband took apart the whole toilet, but Monkey was gone. Our little boy was very happy when the mail lady brought him a replacement. A few weeks later we were watching an episode of Dirty Jobs in which Mike Rowe was in a sewer. My son asked, "Is he looking for my monkey?" We all had a good laugh at that! ~ Miranda

My younger has a blanket named Fifi. When she was a toddler, she was in her crib pointing at something (I couldn’t tell what) and yelling, “Fifi! Fifi!” I picked up every object in her room and asked, “Is this Fifi?” And each time she shook her head no. It wasn’t until I picked up the blanket and she exclaimed, “Fifi!” that I knew I had found it. And that’s how Fifi got his (her?) name. ~ Sarah

When my son was a baby, my husband would always think he was cold. My husband would take off his robe and cover him, so the robe became his blankie. He is 5 now, and it has held up really well. Just a little embarrassing when he wants to take it into a store or restaurant.  ~ Jamie

This is a funny story that happened 17 years ago. I bought my son, who was 2, a dog from Old Navy named "Magic." My son loved that dog, but couldn't say Magic. He called the dog Maggot!  Maggot went everywhere with us and we really got the looks in the restaurants! Maggot still sits on a shelf and will always be our family’s funny story! ~ Cindy

My 10-year-old son has a blanket—of all the hundreds of blankets he was exposed to as a child—that he still refuses to sleep without. This blanket is identical to the one I was attached to as a small child. I have only scraps left of mine, and my son looks as if he's well on his way down that path as well. ~ Maggie

My older had Ralphie the dog. Ralphie went everywhere with my daughter. One night at bedtime we couldn’t find Ralphie and, as you can imagine, there was major trauma. He stayed lost for a couple of days until I found him behind the bar in the basement. It was then that my daughter remembered she and Ralphie were playing hide and seek and he had been hiding behind the bar. ~ Margaret

Rebecca Ishum lives in Belton with her husband, Sean, and their 5-year-old quadruplets. She still finds herself hunting down loveys at bedtime when her kids manage to sneak them into random places in the house.