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Bring Boredom Back

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By this time, summer is in full swing, and I’ll bet you’ve heard the infamous “Moooooom, I’m bored” whine more than once.  Am I right?!  While this phrase often can feel like fingernails on a chalkboard, some good actually comes from allowing children to experience boredom.

Quite simply, children need to be bored. They need time to be independent and imaginative, develop, create and sort out their environments, and learn how to handle emotions. Being bored enables children to do just that. This empty time is so extremely beneficial to children that parents should be willing to schedule it each day, if they have to. Ashley Walburn, a marriage and family therapist and owner of hOMe Holistic confirms this, saying, “When our children are continually stimulated with activities, technologies, organized play dates, etc., they are only being stimulated from external stimuli. They lose the ability to have creative thoughts, independent ideas, to make up songs and games and know themselves more fully. When they are bored, they move toward daydreams, memories and find themselves and grow into interesting children and adults who can contribute more fully to the world because they have a greater awareness of it and a deeper understanding of their true selves.”

Recently, I read a quote stating, “It’s not your job to entertain your child every waking moment. And it’s not your job to protect them from boredom.” So what should parents do when their children come whining and complaining about being bored?! Navigating the boredom blues is not easy, but a little practice can help.

If your children are used to being scheduled and not having unstructured time, sitting comfortably in the boredom might prove to be quite challenging. If this is the case, start slowly and allow your children a small amount of boredom time.  Maybe it’s only 15 to 20 minutes, depending on their ages and what you think they can handle. Gradually work your way up to longer amounts of time. Remember though, the time doesn’t have to be a solid hour-long chunk. Rather, you could spread out time in smaller increments throughout your regularly scheduled day. When left to their own devices, children will naturally invent things…which is exactly what we want them to do!

While there is no one “right” way to handle the boredom blues, a few local moms share their thoughts:

“Boredom for kids is a good thing overall. Children don't need to be entertained constantly. At home we monitor screen time and make sure there are plenty of physical, creative, educational and imaginative based play activities they can engage in…and are pointed to if ‘I'm bored’ comes out of their mouths!” shares Jamie, an Olathe mom of three.

Whitney, an Olathe mom of two, says, “Kids nowadays like to have everything entertain them (iPad, TV, phone, Mommy, etc.). But in reality, we may be hurting our kids.  We are not allowing them to be creative and use their imaginations. When was the last time you let them play outside WITHOUT toys? Did they find a stick and bugs? Climb a tree? Being bored is a perception. If we never allow our kids to use their brains and always entertain them, then of course they will be bored.” 

 

So wrap your mind around bringing boredom back to your house and enjoy the rest of what summer has to offer! As local psychologist Tracy Daniel says, “Take a deep breath, clear your mind and rejoice in the simplicity of boredom.”

 

What do you do when your children come to you with an “I’m bored” whine?

Julie Collett writes from Overland Park, where her children are still small enough they don’t use the word “bored” yet—but she hopes she’s prepared for the day they do!

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