Children and Chores
I have three sons ages 13, 10 and 8 - and every day they help with chores around the house. What kinds of things do they do? They do everything from loading the dishwasher to dusting to laundry. They even iron! Obviously not all my boys are old enough to do every type of chore, but they do what's appropriate for their age and ability level and have been for years.
Start teaching chores when children are toddlers. I say teach chores because if you want something done a certain way children must understand your requirements. To understand how you want it done they must be taught. Plan to spend more than one day teaching each chore, several days in fact. Children aren't going to do things perfectly from the start, they'll learn as they go, but parents must have realistic expectations of a child's ability.
Once you've taught something, allow the child to practice the newly learned skill independently, offering constructive criticism when necessary. If the job is a large one, such as laundry, a visual, like a poster placed on the back of the laundry room door, will serve as a great reminder of the important steps involved.
Using "chore sticks" helps to mix-up the chores on a regular basis. Popsicle sticks or clothespins with chores written on them in permanent ink work well. Pull the sticks with the chores you want accomplished in a given day, creating new ones when necessary. Divide the number of chores by the number of family members completing chores and that determines how many sticks everyone picks, even Mom and Dad. This way everyone gets a fair mix of chores and no one gets stuck doing something they dislike every time. Another idea is to create a chore chart for each child or one for the entire family. Google "chore charts" and find hundreds of templates or options, including one that is sure to work for your family.
Of course your kids aren't always going to be thrilled about chore time but making it fun will help. Set a time limit, announcing that you'll do chores for thirty minutes or an hour, not a moment longer. Then set a timer. Stay true to your word and stop when the timer goes off. Remind the kids that many hands make light work!
To pay, or not to pay, that is the question! I personally don't believe in paying children for chores. I clothe them, feed them, pay for schooling, etc. They also get lots of extras - game systems, vacations and so on. So, to me, that is their payment. However, I do offer incentives. For instance, if the boys do an exceptionally good job at a chore or show initiative with something, rearranging a drawer or cabinet while their putting away dishes, I'll give them a bonus. It may be extra TV time or an actual monetary reward. I'm very infrequent and unexpected with these so they'll never know when one might awarded, or for what. It helps encourage everyone to do their best all the time and to look for additional ways to help. If you decide to offer payment, decide whether to pay per chore or a weekly rate. Offering payment for seasonal or extra large chores before vacation when kids are likely to want spending money for souvenirs is ideal. Spending money they've worked hard to earn ensures they'll appreciate what they purchase even more.
Don't feel guilty asking the children to help around the house. Chores provide training for adulthood. Chores teach responsibility, work ethic and prepare children to be on their own. In college, I visited the dorm laundry room and found another student walking on top of the clothes in the washer trying to get everything to fit; you don't want this to be your child. In addition, chores teach your child to appreciate the person that normally does the chores (YOU!) and all the little things that person has to do around the house. Trust me, they think twice before making a mess when it's their job to clean it up.
The main things to remember are to start slow, teach well, don't expect perfection. Work alongside your children and things will get done in no time at all!
Age Appropriate Chores