Creating (and sticking to) a Bedtime Routine

A few months ago, my husband and I were pulling all-nighters and not in a fun or even semi-productive way.  After finally getting our 2-year-old to sleep in his own bed, I enjoyed approximately a week of decent sleep before my 4-year-old began balking at the idea of bedtime. Consistency in our bedtime routine was top priority. I didn’t understand what else I could do to ensure that the entire Bosse family returned to peaceful slumber. After some trial and error, online research and feedback from other parents, however, I can confidently say that we’ve eradicated our son’s sleep issues. If you’re currently suffering from child-induced sleep deprivation, here are six tips to getting a better night’s sleep all-around.

• Consistency: According to a 2009 article in the journal Sleep, consistency improved sleep in children with mild to moderate sleep problems. It also provides children with a sense of security. Tonganoxie mom of four Meghann Gehl says, “We eat dinner around 5:30. Then baths start at 7, from youngest to oldest. They brush their teeth, and then I read an age-appropriate book to each of them, starting with the youngest and working my way through until they’re all in bed. I think a schedule is so important for kids. They know what’s expected, so it helps them settle down and go to sleep easier.”
• Eat: If your child is waking up each night restless or complaining of stomach pain, it’s possible he isn’t getting enough to eat during the day. A small snack before bedtime, such as cereal with milk, fruit, string cheese or some crackers, will give him just enough to properly fill up without overdoing it. An overly full stomach also can interfere with sleep.
• Limit Screen Time: According to “Bedtime Blues: How to Get Children to Sleep” on TheGuardian.com, exposure to bright light, which includes most screens—however small—will halt production of melatonin and prevent sleep. Even a few minutes of exposure can throw off bedtime by as much as two hours. Avoid allowing children access to TV, computers, tablets or mobile phones at least an hour before bed. If a nightlight is needed, it should be dim or red. Our brains are less sensitive to red light.
• Encourage Self-Soothing: Sleep disorder specialist Professor Paul Gringas says, “Don’t do anything at bedtime that you’re not prepared to do five times a night, including at 3:00 a.m.” I found that not allowing my 4-year-old to bring a cup of milk with him to bed greatly curtailed his incessant waking throughout the night. If possible, you should also try to avoid sitting with your child until he falls asleep. We got into a bad habit of lying with our youngest each night until he fell asleep. When he woke at midnight and 2:00, he wouldn’t go back to sleep unless we lay down with him again. Not only did it impact his sleep, it took a big toll on ours as well. Now, we lie with him for a few minutes at bedtime and that’s it. It has helped a lot.
• Soft Music: Studies have shown that continuous, softly played music can not only help children fall asleep, it also can make it easier for them to fall back asleep if they wake up during the night.
• Be Firm: Don’t be afraid to be firm either. My boys are at the stage where they ask for “one more thing.” They want an extra hug and kiss, another book or suddenly become very thirsty. It’s a ploy to stay up just a little longer. I won’t turn down a request for extra love, but I do curb the incessant need for a drink or one last book. Calmly reiterating the bedtime rules will keep it consistent.

            It’s important to remember that all children are different. Some require more or less sleep than the average. Some are night owls, while others can fall asleep much earlier in the evening.  The key lies in assessing the specific needs of your child and creating a routine that suits both of you. With a little tweaking, you, too, will be on your way to a better night’s sleep.

Jennifer Bosse lives in Kansas City with her husband and two sons. Thanks to a better bedtime routine, her family is once more sleeping soundly.