Discovering and Nurturing Your Child's Talents

Do you remember the day you first discovered that one thing you love doing most? Whether it’s swimming, gymnastics, public speaking, writing, computer programming or helping animals, it’s that one thing that drew you in so deeply that it’s a huge part of who you are. Call it a passion, a talent or a “calling,” everyone has one. However, not everyone has had the ability to nurture it, and some are still trying to discover theirs. It’s not uncommon for some people to reach adulthood before finding their true calling, and that’s okay.

But what about your child? Have you discovered his or her talent? Is he passionate about science? Cars? Caring for animals? Or maybe she loves to write, play the drums or spend her time in the kitchen cooking. Then again, maybe your child loves a little bit of everything. As a parent, simply watch for clues on your children’s abilities and interests and be sure to nurture the things they show the most interest in. Here’s how:

Watch him play. Does he gravitate toward group activities or playing solo? Which would he go to first: a bicycle, a board game or a computer? Knowing what your child chooses for himself will allow you to see where his talents lie.    

Observe your child around her peers. Don’t just drop your child off at an activity and leave. You’re missing out on the ability to watch and evaluate your child’s behavior and abilities. Is she a leader? Is she truly gifted at this particular sport or activity and does she show enthusiasm?

Let her choose. Maybe you want your child to play piano or soccer, but is that really where her interest and ability lie? She may be more engaged—and happier—taking dance lessons or singing. Remember that children are going to be who they are despite who you want to make them. As a parent, you will find it best to allow your child to explore and discover what really grabs her attention. 

Encourage creativity and expression. Allow your child to create. If he enjoys drawing cartoons or creating crossword puzzles, encourage him! If he loves to write stories or riddles, sit down and listen to or read what he wrote. Encourage his creative expression! If you choose to limit your child in any way, he might stop expressing himself creatively. 

Prepare to invest time and money. Does your child truly want to follow her dream of riding horses? First, make sure you can commit to riding lessons as a family. You may want to start her on a trial period of classes to see whether she truly wants to do it before promising to continue.

Learn from your child. To nurture your child’s interest, be intrigued by what she is doing. Whether it’s a new song she’s learning to sing, a new move in dance class or something she created on the computer, this is your child’s time to shine.

Observe your child’s coach or teacher. Watch how that person interacts with your child. Does he or she have the integrity and social skills you expect? Does the coach yell at the kids or punish them? If you spot something you or your child is not comfortable with, try talking with the instructor or find a new one who is more compatible with your child.

Stay on board. Participate in what your child is doing. Attend practices, games and performances and express interest. By doing so, you’ll help your child stay motivated. If you don’t, you’ll be sending a huge message that you don’t care, so why should he?

Allow your child to quit. However, before you do, try to find out why. Has the activity become too difficult? Is there something else he’s wanting to try instead? Remember: Childhood is a time of experimentation. Never force your child to remain in an activity if he’s not happy and never force him to do something to fulfill your own dreams. Allow your children to follow their own passions, even if they’re completely opposite of your own.

    In today’s world, believing the biggest and most visible talents are more important than the small ones is pretty common. This is a huge misconception. Every talent, even the smallest, is big in context for each child and how he or she uses it. A talent for recognizing different emotions in someone’s voice is no less important than being a fast runner. A talent for recognizing emotions has led many people to become successful therapists, managers and educators. In addition, a child who loves to play with dolls and make them carry on conversations with each other is no less important than one who plays violin in an orchestra. The talent of imaginary play has led many people to become successful writers, actors and salespeople. 

    Pay attention to your child’s smallest actions, words and emotions and ask yourself how she can use that ability more fully in her life. Even if your child loves to do a little bit of everything, be at peace and nurture all of his interests. Remember, it may just take until his teen or adult years to find his one true passion…and that’s perfectly normal. In the meantime, cheer him on through the interests that pop up along the way. You never know which one may stick for life!

Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein loves encouraging both of her daughters’ creative interests and watching them grow and learn their strengths through the process.