Dressing Without Drama

I think it’s fair to say we would all enjoy having our children dressed in clothes that are appropriate for the season, the activities they will be participating in, and coordinated in some manner. But in case you missed the memo, parenting isn’t a walk down Easy Street, and children seem to delight in making tiny matters BIG deals!  One of these seemingly easy tasks is simply getting dressed for the day.

Gender, age and personality all play a factor when dressing children who have decided they have an opinion. For younger children, I have found it easiest to pick out their outfits for the day or simply offer them limited choices. For example, would you like to wear the red or blue shirt?  Or would you like to wear shorts or a skirt today?  If your child wants more say in his wardrobe, help him lay out an outfit the night before so the decision has already been made and he can simply get dressed without a fight.

As children gain a better understanding of what goes and what doesn’t, have them lay out clothes on their own to make the mornings run a little smoother. You can take this a step further by purchasing a closet organizer that can hold up to a week’s worth of outfits, then planning out the whole week as Olathe mother Bekah Bayer does with her two boys. “I put six outfits in [the closet organizer] at the beginning of the week, and they can pick which one they want to wear and what day,” she says. “This is usually only a Monday-Friday thing and includes an extra day so they have choices every day.”  

With all things parenting, this is a teaching opportunity too. Depending on how much you care about matching, you can teach your kids to match colors or patterns. Or kindly offer suggestions of what would match better. If needed, you also can implement a one-outfit-a-day rule (unless there’s a reason for a change). Fewer clothes mean less laundry, and less laundry means a happier mommy, right?  

With school back in full swing, the issue of appropriateness can spark drama. Choosing the right clothes can be hard for kids who attach to a favorite pair of jeans or a special character t-shirt but who experience a growth spurt and no longer fit said item. This can be a great opportunity to discuss donating items to those less fortunate or selling clothes so they can buy something new to wear. Having rules or expectations in place about appropriateness can help too, like specifying where certain things can be worn, or the temperature required to wear shorts. Giving guidelines in the morning, such as short or long sleeves, shorts or pants or sandals or tennis shoes, can help as well.

Sarah Lyons, Olathe mother of six, says, “I let my kids pick their clothing with the exception of school picture day and holidays. I put away all inappropriate clothing and anything that doesn't go with current weather conditions. If they don't match or I don't care for the combination, I leave it be. I pick my battles, and clothing isn't worth it to me.”  Lyons also has some tips for minimizing the prospect of drama. “If I don't like it, I don't buy it,” she says.

More experienced mamas seem to relax, realize children often can do more than we give them credit for and call it a win if their kids are dressed on their own at all. Gina Tireman, Olathe mother of two, says, “With my son I always helped him every morning. With my second, I learned quickly that kids were able to do a lot more on their own than I had realized. When she was 2, I reorganized her closet so her clothes all hung low enough for her to reach on her own, and I hung them as complete sets. Now starting kindergarten, she does everything in the morning on her own and only asks if she should put on long sleeves or short sleeves. Makes mornings so much easier!”

Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 5, Mason, 3, and Slade, 6 months, and writes from her home in Olathe.