EMOTIONS IN THE COVID-19 CRISIS

As the pandemic has turned our world topsy turvy, our emotional lives as moms can be tossed around on the same rollercoaster—and that’s okay. In this month’s Mojo for Moms column, I want to explore the very substance of emotions. What are they? What creates them? Is what I’m feeling normal? Above all, I hope to impart some helpful wisdom and dispense an abundant dose of grace over our emotional experiences in these strange times.

E-motions = Energy in Motion

Emotions are energy in motion that we feel as sensations inside our bodies. Healthy emotions are literally in motion: We allow their energy and sensations to flow through our bodies, because we’re willing to feel them. Problems come when we inhibit emotional flow, when we try to deny what we’re feeling, stuff it or resist it. Without flow, our emotions are like stagnant water; they become toxic. Emotions we resist persist. Emotions we allow ourselves to feel heal. Getting our emotions into flow for optimum health is a simple, three-part process: 1) Name the emotion (e.g., “I feel anger”). 2) Locate and describe it in your body in detail (heat rising, jaw clenching, etc.). 3) Breathe into the sensations and welcome them.

“Negative Emotions” Are Normal

Negative emotions are not sinful or toxic. They are a natural part of the human experience, and the simple presence of these emotions—like anger, fear and sadness—is not a sign of mental illness. Very often, especially in times like these, negative emotions are a sign of mental health, and not a sign of its absence. I choose to feel angry when people neglect their civic duty to stay home—and out of anger, I speak out about why this matters. I choose to feel sad when people are suffering and dying, which drives compassionate action. I choose to feel afraid of unnecessary risks and make wise decisions out of healthy fear. I also choose to feel joy in the midst of sorrow.

Emotions as Professors

Emotions, like professors, come bearing an important lesson: They teach us about our thoughts. A thought is just a picture or sentence in our mind that we use to interpret life’s circumstances, and these pictures and sentences are what drive our emotions. The thought “I don’t’ know how to parent my kids through this!” drives confusion and anxiety (and those emotions are allowed—but is this thought serving us?). The thought “I know we’ll get through this” drives confidence and hope. By accessing the wisdom of our emotions, we can get to the root of the thoughts that drive them, and work to reframe toxic thoughts with a more tonic, healing mindset.

Wendy Connelly, M.Div., is a podcaster (MoJo For Moms podcast), life coach and mother of two from Overland Park. You can find Wendy’s latest podcasts, retreats and more at MoJoForMoms.com.