Finding Balance is Bologna!

Let’s face it: Moms are busy. Why? Because kids keep moms busy. From fixing meals, washing clothes and patching boo-boos to running Johnny and Sarah to soccer practice, keeping up with doctor appointments and setting up play dates, they’re always on the go. And for some moms, this doesn’t even include their job outside the home. Supposedly, there’s a way to find a happy balance between work and family, but most working moms will tell you, “That’s baloney!”

Most of us are torn between juggling heavy workloads, meeting family responsibilities, managing relationships and fitting in all of our outside interests. It’s not surprising that more than one in four Americans consider themselves “super stressed,” and that’s not balanced—or healthy. While we’re trying to “get it all done” both at the office and home, our stress levels spike and our productivity plummets. Stress is a concentration zapper, and it makes us depressed and irritable.

You may not believe a true work-family balance is achievable, but there are at least ways to help ease the pain of running in a million directions each day. In fact, here are some great strategies that might just help you get a little bit closer to that balance you never thought could exist.

At home:

Spend time with your spouse. Weekly date nights are a great idea! No sitter? No problem! Wait until your children are asleep and spend some one-on-one time watching a movie, playing games or just talking to one another.

Form a support network with other parents. Connect with other parents at your children’s school(s) and in your neighborhood so you can help each other out.

Limit time wasters and distractions. Discipline yourself and set time limits on checking e-mails, text messages or making phone calls. Leave that stuff for when the kids are in bed.

Also, try to avoid multitasking when spending time with your children. Give them your undivided attention.

Set up special family activities. Try to create activities that naturally fit into your family schedule, such as Friday pizza or board game nights. This way everyone knows what to expect and look forward to. Go out to breakfast on the weekends, go to a matinee movie or play at the park. For older kids, ask for their suggestions and try to accommodate so everyone is happy. What’s important is that everyone is together.

Connect with each child. Spend time with each child in his or her room before bedtime. Spend at least 15 minutes just talking and bonding. It’s amazing what your child will share with you when you’re alone. You might also take turns bringing a child on errands with you. Bonding can happen anytime and anywhere the two of you are alone together. Just remember to put your phones away.

Do less. That’s right. Simplify your family life by scaling back on activities and commitments. For instance, you don’t need to volunteer for all of your child’s class parties and field trips. Instead, choose one of each for the year with which to help. Cut back on after-school activities, too. Two extracurricular activities for each child are more than enough. Learn to say no.

At Work:

Set realistic and manageable goals each day. Research shows that the more control we have over our workload, the less stressed we get. Make a to-do list and tackle important tasks first and eliminate the unnecessary ones. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Ask for flexibility. It’s no surprise that flex time and telecommuting are becoming necessities in the business world today. What’s great is that many companies are cooperating. If you ask, they may allow you to work flexible hours or from home one day a week. After all, research shows that employees who work flexible schedules are more productive and loyal to their employers.

Add music. To help with concentration, reduce stress and stimulate creativity, listen to your favorite music. Remember to wear headphones, though, so you don’t disturb coworkers.

Take a break. Not only is it acceptable, but many employers encourage it. Small breaks will help clear your head, improve your ability to deal with stress and make good decisions.

Take advantage of your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Many companies offer resources through an EAP, which assists employees with personal problems and/or work-related problems that may impact their job performance, health, mental and emotional well-being.

Take care of your body. Regular exercise reduces stress, anxiety and depression, and it boosts your immune system. Take a walk during lunch or make time to go to the gym. Eating right and getting enough sleep are equally important.

Although it seems like achieving a happy work-family balance is baloney, it really isn’t! Because every family’s schedule (and life) is different, what works for one may not work for another.  Finding those things that work for you and your family life will help create a healthier balance. The more you put into reducing the chaos, the easier it will be to see the end results. Just remember: baby steps. You’ve got this. 

Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein struggles as much as the next mom with work and family balance, but she’s found that shared chores and cutting out activities have helped tremendously, among other things.