Four Difficult Talks to Have with Your Children

Oh, the questions that pop out of the mouths of babes. And as a parent, you must be prepared with the correct response, because changing the subject just won’t cut it these days.

Face it. The world you grew up in is much different than the world in which your children are growing up. While some parents and caregivers may not see it as appropriate to discuss certain sensitive topics with young children, remember this: If you don’t talk with them early and answer their questions, they will get their facts from somewhere else. Your children are already picking things up from TV, school friends and movies. As a parent, it’s up to you to offer your children accurate information that’s in sync with your own personal values and morals.

When and where do you begin such important talks? As soon as a sensitive subject comes up—and it doesn’t always have to be brought up by your child. It’s okay, as a parent, to start the discussion. Television is a great conversation starter. If you’re watching a show with your child and racism is a part of the story line, be sure to ask your child what they thought of the show when it’s over. It just takes a couple of questions to start a valuable discussion on a topic that is a part of real life. Teaching tolerance from the time your child is young can help him learn to not judge others by skin color. Talk to your young child about why people have different skin colors and also point out all of the things people do have in common. As your child gets older, your conversation will turn to other types of intolerance in the world.

“What happens when you die?” What a great question! But how to answer it might have you scratching your head, wondering what to say. This particular question depends on your own beliefs on death and the afterlife. Begin talking with your child about your thoughts on heaven when they’re young. Have an open dialogue and listen to your child’s thoughts, too. But be sure to consider the age and developmental level of your child when beginning such a discussion.  According to the National Institutes of Health, research has shown that two main factors influence a child’s understanding of death: their developmental level and their experiences.

Don’t forget “stranger danger.” It’s important to teach your small children about the dangers of people they do not know, but it’s also a good idea to inform them about “tricky people.” A tricky person is an adult who tries to get them to break a family safety rule, such as asking them to keep a big secret or telling them it’s okay to go with them without asking a parent first. As your child gets older, talk to her about “tricky friends.” These are the friends who say mean things about others, lie or try to manipulate your child into doing things she doesn’t want to.

As your child enters puberty, the topic of sexuality will most likely become a part of conversation. Don’t shy away from such discussions, and know that talking about sexuality is much more than just talking to your teen about sex. The more comfortable you make such conversations with your child, the better the chance he or she will want to come to you for information about body changes and sexual feelings instead of getting misinformation from friends.

Believe it or not, your children want you to discuss difficult subjects with them, but only if they feel that you will be open to their questions. It’s up to you to create the kind of atmosphere in which your children can ask any questions, on any subject, freely and without consequence. To create such an atmosphere, be encouraging, supportive and positive … and listen.

Liberty mom Gina Klein is a writer and author who loves answering her two young daughters’ questions, no matter what the topic.