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Home Alone: Ready or Not

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Does the idea of leaving your child home alone evoke images from the 1990s movie Home Alone? No need to panic! For many, leaving children home alone is not only an “earned” convenience of sorts for parents, but also a rite of passage for children. While Kansas does not have an official legal age for leaving a child home alone, the guideline listed and encouraged is age 12. This is also supported by the National SAFEKIDS Campaign, which recommends no child under the age of 12 be left home alone. Keep in mind this varies from state to state, family to family and even child to child.

Before leaving your child home alone for the first time, here are some things to consider:

So you’ve decided your child is ready…now what? Let the preparations begin! While the City of Leawood and Blue Valley Recreation both offer a home alone basics course for children ages 9-12, you’ll want your own set of household guidelines and rules in place, as well as clear expectations. Elizabeth, Lenexa mom of three, says, “Our daughter is now 11 and staying home alone for perhaps an hour at a time. She is not allowed to answer the door and is only able to answer the phone if a parent is calling. She always has a phone number to reach us, and it is not unusual for her to still call and check in with us when we are away. It is also helpful to know whether a close neighbor is home during that time if a true emergency would arise.”

And just when you feel like you’ve been crystal clear and covered all bases, think again.  Margaret Sarver, our very own editor, says, “The first time I left my older alone (for five minutes while I ran my younger to dance), I went over what I thought was every detail: Don’t answer the phone or the door. If the doorbell rings, stay away from windows so people at the door don’t see you. I gave a list of emergency numbers, said don’t turn on the stove, etc., and off I went. As I pulled up to the house, I found her sitting on the porch. The one thing I hadn’t said? Stay inside!”

While many things about staying home alone vary, one thing seems to be common ground for everyone—begin with very small outings and work your way up. Overland Park mom Liz agrees. “We started leaving our oldest at home when he was in sixth grade,” she says. “We gradually built up the time away to develop his confidence and test his safety skills. At first, it was just a run to the grocery store or to pick up a sibling. Now we can leave them for an evening.” Similarly, Lynn, an Overland Park mom of three, says, “I started with really short outings—15 to 20 minutes while I ran to CVS or the post office, etc. We worked up to longer times.”

Whatever the duration of errand you are running, one thing is certain. Staying at home alone is an important milestone for your child (and you!) and “can be very confidence-building if done properly,” says Elizabeth. Remember, what works for one family may not work for yours, and even what worked for your oldest may not work for your youngest. The important thing is to not push your child but try when the time is right, ensure your child feels comfortable with the idea and provide him with adequate training. 

 

Julie Collett writes from Overland Park where she doesn’t yet have the convenience of leaving children home alone because they’re only 4, 2 and 7 months, but knows she will all too soon!

A few more things to consider:

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