Time to Move On?

As a parent, raising a well-rounded child is a huge priority and one of our main objectives. We want our children to be diverse and exposed to culture, the arts and sports. It’s our job to provide them with every opportunity to learn and grow into the person they aspire to be.

“Childhood is an opportunity to experience multiple activities and have the chance to try out new and different events,” says Sarah Dettmer, M.S.Ed., M.S., LPC, a psychotherapist who is an individual, couple and family counselor in Kansas City, MO.

It’s important to encourage your child to play sports or learn an instrument. Doing so will help kids develop characteristics and healthy habits that will mold their personalities and last a lifetime. However, there comes a time when your child might want to quit the team or try ballet instead of jazz. This raises the question do you let them?

While there is no right or wrong answer regarding whether your child should move on from an activity, here are a few things to consider before making that decision.

Evaluate the Situation

When it comes to pursuing other interests, the decision depends on the children, their level of talent, how long they have been involved and the reasons why they want to quit. Parents should be cautious about pushing them into doing something they no longer enjoy. It could potentially cause conflict at home or lack of motivation. “I just didn’t understand why she didn’t want to cheer anymore, until I found out her best friend just joined the soccer team,” says Amanda Gray, Shawnee. Try to find the root cause of why your child has lost interest and find a solution.

Lend an Ear

Understand that any time a child starts something new, you need to allow time for adjusting. It’s not uncommon for your child to feel uncertain about a new coach or be intimidated by harder practices. Sit down with your child and listen to his concerns about the new circumstances. Offer encouragement, explain the benefits of working hard and express how proud you are of him. “When Colby started conditioning for soccer his freshmen year, he was intimidated by all of his new older teammates and the long practices,” says Mindy Knowles, Parkville. “But after my husband and I sat down and told him how proud we were of him and that he could do it, it seemed to calm his fears knowing we supported him and understood.”

See the Season Through

You can’t force your child to continue something she absolutely refuses to do, but you can and should compromise with her. Explain to her that she made a commitment to her instructors, coaches and teammates when she joined the team and everyone is counting on her for a full season. Educate her on the importance of seeing a commitment through and that it helps build character and reinforces good habits.

Offer Alternatives

If it’s just that swimming really isn’t his thing or he is tiring of the clarinet, offer other interests for your child to be involved in. “If a child desires to end one activity and begin another, a parent may set a boundary that at the conclusion of a series of classes or a sports season, the family will look at other options and find a new activity,” Dettmer says.

Research with your child an activity that interests him. Having fun is the number one motivation for children to be involved in extracurricular activities, and dropouts occur when the child no longer is having fun.

Remember that we get our children involved in sports, dance and other activities for them to have fun, learn social skills, develop fundamentally and grow. It might be time for them to move on if you are spending more time coaxing them into the car for practice than cheering them on from the sidelines. 

Jennifer Duxbury is a freelance writer from Belton who looks forward to encouraging and supporting her son in all of his extracurricular activities in the future.