It's the Little Things
Every once in a while (okay, a lot), I breathe a simple prayer of thanks. Thanks for keeping my children safe today. Thanks for instilling such a sense of wonder in my 3-year-old. Thanks for that quiet morning moment when I held my 1-year-old close and breathed in his warm, baby-sweet scent.
Even in the hurricane of an enormous mess, I can find a silver lining, if I look.
But the key is just that: I have to look. I have to be intentional about seeing the good.
“It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of parenting,” say self-described “seasoned moms” Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons, authors of the PBS article Serving up Spoonfuls of Gratitude. “But looking at raising children through the lens of gratitude can unlock a fullness to parenting that might otherwise get lost in the chaos of school, after-school, doctor’s appointments and other activities that can turn each day into a frenzied blur.”
It’s true that the busyness and the mundane can overtake us as parents if we’re not careful. But tuning in to what’s around you—your toddler’s hunger to read, pajamas that keep your child warm, your spouse’s sense of humor—can make all the difference in the flurry of chaotic and sometimes messy hours of parenting.
“When you express a feeling, you amplify it,” say Lesowitz and Sammons. “When you express irritation, you get more irritated. When you express appreciation, you become more grateful.”
As a mom, I have been in countless situations where I realized I could either laugh or cry. Take, for instance, the afternoon my 3-year-old came in from playing outside after having “painted” both his legs with mud. Believe me, I thought about crying over the mess there was to clean up. But in all that dirt I saw a bigger blessing: my child’s sense of wonder at the outdoors and the necessary rain that had made the mud in the first place.
It’s not just the tangible things or isolated instances we have to be thankful for. Jenn Foy, a Louisburg mother of four, has found the power of love to be one of the simplest yet most profound blessings of being a parent.
“I realize now [as a parent] how much my mom loves me,” says Foy. “I am so thankful for her love.”
So much of parenting is learning to live in and be thankful for the small moments. “Learn to be grateful for the simple pleasures,” say Lesowitz and Sammons, “and parenting can be a much richer and fulfilling experience.”
5 Ways to Count Your Blessings
- Keep a journal. A journal is a simple tool that can reap tremendous insight, if you let it. I keep Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project: One-Sentence Journal for Mothers by my nightstand and record one thing each day that astonished me about my kids.
- Gab with a friend. As parents, we are, by and large, wired to process the day’s messes and successes with others who “get it.” Latch onto a friend who is compassionate and a good listener and air out your day. It’s okay to vent, but while you’re talking, focus on the positive, too. Remember, it’s there; you just have to be mindful of it.
- Relish the quiet time. I know, I know. Quiet time can be so hard to come by when you have little ones. But enforcing an afternoon nap or simple hour of down time (if your child is past the nap stage) is good for everyone involved. Quiet time allows kids to recharge—and even perhaps focus on a particular skill or activity for a concentrated period of time—and allows parents the golden opportunity for reflection and rejuvenation.
- Do something you enjoy. Who says every hour of the day has to be all about what your kids want? Tapping into a personal interest—photography, fantasy football, scrapbooking—can give you a concrete sense of accomplishment and identity, not as a parent but simply as a person. Be thankful for the myriad ways you can express yourself.
- Look around you. Blessings are everywhere. The sun that rises every morning, the smell of your shampoo, an unexpected gift from a friend, heck, even your washing machine. It’s not hard to come up with a list of things you’re thankful for, if you keep your eyes and mind open.
Kate Meadows, a mom of two boys in Louisburg, is thankful for seasons, especially this one. Fall is her favorite time of year.