Raising Up Responsibility
Luke 16:10: “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities.”
Entitled. A word that gives me parenting hives, but not for the reason you’d think. I’m just over media sources and researchers painting it over our kids with a wide, sweeping brush. Entitlement is not the primary issue; limited or absent personal responsibility is. It’s easier (and sells more articles) to point at problematic, shocking behaviors in youth than it is to talk about doable, practical solutions that can be implemented from home at your kitchen sink.
Truth is, if you’re a follower of Jesus, you should be the most entitled person you know: peace, hope, love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, joy, family, community, purpose and eternity, for starters. Being God’s kids comes with blessing. Psalm 103 says God crowns, forgives, fills, redeems and loves us unfailingly. Verse 11 says, “For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.” If that’s you, you’re entitled to live loved. With those blessings and gifts comes great responsibility (any Spider Man fans out there?).
The question is not whether our kids are entitled, but where is their entitlement rooted and does it match their degree of responsibility? Luke 16:10 talks about this very reality: “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities.” Our kids can be held accountable for age-appropriate responsibilities starting at home. If our kids’ sense of entitlement (hello, attitude!) begins to outweigh their responsibilities, it’s our red flag to reevaluate expectations and change those expectations or increase or reinforce responsibilities.
We won’t read a lot of headlines or newsfeeds about solutions to entitlement because they’re not all that glamorous, and positive results can take months or years. It’s called parenting. It’s making our kids finish seemingly minor chores through groans and tears. It’s removing objects of entitlement or distraction (goodbye, iPad, in our house) for whatever time it takes for personal responsibility to shape up, and it’s called showing respect and love to others because we feel entitled to it in our own relationships.
My kids are entitled, and I’m okay with that as long as their entitlement is grounded in who Jesus is and who they are because of Him. They, like I, will stumble through this world’s faulty entitlements and realize (hopefully without too much heartache) that God is our only guarantee. If that means I have to make them restack spoons in a drawer the right way for 10 years, hold them responsible for a heart-felt “I’m sorry” to their sister and remind them to pray like God’s listening 567 times, then I will do just that.
You can read more from KCP’s Faith & Family columnist Jena Meyerpeter at UnravelGrace.com