Six Ways to Be a More Joyful Mom

As the holiday season approaches, I find I sometimes get caught up in the endless flurry of activity and am less focused on being in the moment with my family. I’m so eager to make picture perfect memories that I don’t always stop to appreciate the simpler ones as well. And if I’m being totally honest, it’s difficult to feel completely joyful when I’m simply checking off “to do’s” on my holiday list. Never again, I say! It’s time to get back to basics and focus on being more joyful in the here and now, every day of the year.

Here are six great ways to do just that:

Practice gratitude. It’s easy to focus on what’s not working or how the kids may be misbehaving. Instead of narrowing in on the negative, look for the positive. Mom of two Katie Norman says, “We sit down as a family and each of us writes down what we are thankful for on a chain. We begin on Nov. 1 and do this every night until Thanksgiving. By the time Thanksgiving comes, we have a chain that stretches all the way across the living room. The kids also love to look at previous years’ chains.” This is a great holiday tradition, but could be applicable year round!

It’s all in how you word it. In the article “A Three-Letter Word for More JOYFUL Parenting,” author Amy McCready writes about a conversation she had that changed her outlook on even the most mundane moments of parenting. Simply change “I HAVE to” to “I GET to.”  As McCready points out, “If we get so caught up in feeling the drudgery of another task rather than the opportunity it presents, we totally miss out on the gifts that are hidden in each one. For example, instead of I HAVE to volunteer at school, think I GET to be a part of that world. I GET to be a part of that world, help make a difference and shape the learning environment my kids are part of.”

Take care of yourself. Kansas City mom of two Ashley Mendoza says, “Whether it is exercising, reading a book or taking a long bath, finding time to make yourself happy is paramount. So often as mothers, our happiness and identity get wrapped up in who we are to others: a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. It is easy to forget who we are as individuals.” A little time away can leave you feeling refreshed and ready to tackle any obstacles thrown your way with a more positive attitude.

Slow down. Sometimes our schedules are so booked up that I feel like we’re literally dragging the kids from one thing to the next. It takes all of the enjoyment out of our day when we’re constantly saying “hurry up” and “we have to go!” Rather than rushing through each day, I’ve begun to make a concerted effort to leave gaps of time in our schedule. A lazy Saturday morning might mean a trip to the Big Biscuit for breakfast. Sunday night after dinner, we can play cards and board games. Slowing down allows us to enjoy each other more.

Find the humor. One morning around 5:00, we woke to the sound of the doorbell. My husband answered the door and was greeted by a police officer. Our car alarm was going off and he thought someone had tried to break in. My husband went to get his car keys from the kitchen and found our 4-year-old sitting on the counter by the toaster. He had awakened and decided to make himself some toast. While he was at it, he decided to check out what the cool red button on dad’s keys did. Rather than be angry, we chose to laugh about it. Parenthood is a journey. Sometimes it’s maddening, but mostly it can be funny if you allow it to be.

No more yelling. I’m guilty of raising my voice occasionally. I’m learning, however, that the tone I adopt toward my kids makes all the difference. Instead of being reactive, try being proactive. When you’re planning an activity, allow for potential obstacles. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a time-out before speaking. That small breather is usually enough to save you from a few angry words and a lot of guilt later.

During this season of giving thanks, let us rejoice in this messy, fun, perfectly imperfect journey we call motherhood. It truly is an amazing life.

Jennifer Bosse lives in Kansas City with her husband and two sons. She gives thanks every day for her beautiful little life.