Strategies to Better Balance Home and Work Life
Yesterday was a long day. After a full day of work, I zoomed home to see my kids and husband and grab a bite to eat before I headed out to one more work meeting. Then I raced back to give my daughter a kiss goodnight (missing my son’s bedtime) and catch up on the day’s events with my husband. I still feel tired and a little sad about the family time I missed.
Fortunately, I know I’ll take that time back a little later this week, leaving work early to enjoy some coveted time with my family. I’m equally fortunate to have a great husband, a strong network of friends and family for support and a few tricks up my sleeve to handle days—or weeks!—that might otherwise get the better of me. If any of this sounds familiar, read on for a few ideas to physically and emotionally balance things out when you feel pulled in all directions.
Plan, plan, plan: I was never a planner before I had kids. But whether you work outside of the home or not, a little planning can make a huge difference during weekdays. Whether it’s organizing your meals for the week or just helping your kids pick out their clothes for school the night before, a little forethought can absolutely make a hectic day manageable.
Double up on tasks: It’s not always possible to double up on duties for efficiency, but it can feel like a lifesaver when you do it.
My favorite double-duty action: meals. If we have chicken one evening for dinner, we’ll cook double the amount and use the leftover as chicken salad for lunches and have chicken quesadillas for dinner the next night. Or we’ll just cook a double batch of food one night so we can feast on leftovers the next.
When the kids were younger, I even had a single birthday party for both of them, whose birthdays fall close together. We had twice the number of kids at the party, and only one event to plan. Even though they don’t have joint birthday parties anymore, we still reuse games from one birthday party to the next, modifying to the new party theme along the way.
Figure out what you can and can’t live with: This was the most difficult thing for me to do when I first went back to work full time after maternity leave. I quickly realized I didn’t want all my memories of my children’s babyhood to involve folding laundry. I adjusted my own expectations and made sure I had time to do the really important things, like reading books, cuddling and playing with Baby.
Allowing myself to “select” things that could slide made it possible to mentally turn off the “I need to finish one more thing before I spend time with my child” voice in my head.
Find an outlet for stress: Whether it’s a quick walk break around the office floor between meetings, scheduled exercise time, a 15-minute “talk date” with your husband every night or a girls night out with friends each month, it’s important to give yourself “me” time to relieve stress.
Ask for help: Women in our generation have a tough time asking for help. Take it from me, once I got over the “I can do it all” syndrome, life got quite a bit easier. Whether a scheduled carpool ride or covering in a last-minute emergency reliable help from friends and family is critical to striking a balance.
Asking for help also can be a great way to forge new relationships and strengthen old ones. When my daughter entered elementary school, I was hesitant to ask other parents for help. However, reaching out to others has helped me connect with some great new friends. Sharing the joys and the mistakes of parenting makes us human, after all.
Realistic time management: Time management is my least favorite phrase...probably because I still think I can make it through three errands in one hour or less with two kids tagging along! Try to be honest with yourself—if you have a kid in a car seat or a curious kid who likes to stop every four feet to inspect something, can you really make it to the store and back in 15 minutes? Probably not.
Jane Blumenthal Martin and her husband both enjoy actively parenting their two children in Overland Park.