Teaching Kids Gift Etiquette

Your son is a big Harry Potter fan. So you’re thrilled when one of the kids at his birthday party gives him a red and gold striped scarf, just like the one Harry wears in the first movie. Instead, your birthday boy smirks and tosses the box aside without a thank you. Why? The scarf didn’t look exactly like the ones the characters wore in the movie!

It's an uncomfortable but indisputable truth: Kids don’t automatically know how to accept gifts graciously. And they can be blunt little folks. They believe in speaking the truth, even if it hurts feelings. 

Fortunately, you can teach gift manners without encouraging your child to lie. Before the big day, "Help rehearse polite, responses to disappointing gifts," suggests Sharon Silver of the ProActive Parenting coaching firm. Try: "Thank you for buying this for me, Ryan. That was so nice of you!” Your child doesn’t have to say he likes the gift. He just needs to acknowledge the gesture.

If the worst still happens and your child blurts, "I already HAVE this toy!" or "I didn't want this!" don’t overreact. Remind your child that she still needs to thank the gift-giver. Calmly move on to the next package. Later, chat again with your child about gift manners and the option of exchanging the gift.

Another good tactic: Remind kids to focus on gift- giving , not just receiving, suggests gift-giving expert Robyn Spizman, author of The Giftionary . Instead of shopping for your child’s friend’s party on your own (yes, we know it’s easier!), always let your youngster choose or make gifts himself. That way, when he’s on the receiving end, he’ll be more likely to remember how much effort goes into choosing just the right present.