The Busy Parents' Guide to Bonding
Wouldn’t it be nice to have an entire day dedicated to those idyllic parent-child bonding experiences we see in movies? A day spent at Paradise Park, teaching your children as you happily play together, or an entire afternoon dedicated to the art projects/sports/games your child so adores.
As parents in today’s busy world, those perfect hours spent bonding with our kids may not happen as often as we’d like. The solution: Whether you find yourself with 5 extra minutes before leaving for school or 30 minutes in the car together, you can take advantage of these quick and easy ways to bond with your children—straight from the experts:
Always have a book (or a cookie) handy
“The important thing to do is focus on the quality of the time you spend with your child, not the quantity of your time,” says Maxine Benson, program director at the Jewish Community Center’s Child Development Center in Overland Park.
“You can always cuddle on the couch and read a book if you have 5 extra minutes,” says Benson. “But don’t forget how important talking to your child is, so if you just have time to share a cookie and talk about your day, that’s a bonding moment, too.”
Go back in time
“Reminiscing is a special way to bond with your children. Pull out a photo album or watch a video of them when they were younger. It’s fun for you and your kids, and it gets you talking about the ‘old days.’” says Wendy Petricoff, an Overland Park native who is now a Love & Logic Parenting expert in Charlotte, NC.
Let the kids take over...
Giving your kids the chance to direct playtime—even if for just a little while—and giving them your full attention is a sure way to get the conversation rolling, according to Petricoff. (Plus, it’s fun to give yourself permission to act like a kid sometimes!)
...and Break the rules
“When you give your kids the chance to be in charge, it’s okay to break the rules (within reason),” says Petricoff. “Let them change the rules of a game, mix up the Play-doh colors, run around the house yelling in their outside voices. As long as everyone is safe, just have fun and let them enjoy their freedom.”
The family that moves together...has fun together
We all know the importance of physical fitness for our bodies, but the emotional well-being is an added benefit. Let your kids teach you their moves in an impromptu dance party, go on an exploratory winter walk or have a “get ready for school” mini-Olympics, complete with jumping jacks, tooth brushing and toe touches (or whatever you and your kids enjoy). All of these give you and your kids time to talk, laugh and have fun together.
Above all, talk
Benson, who has played an integral part in raising thousands of preschoolers throughout her career, as well as her own close-knit family that includes three grandchildren, says, “Talking with your kids is a lost art, and it’s the foundation to a good relationship. Take the opportunity to talk to your child, whether you are in the car, eating dinner or sorting laundry. Every moment counts.”
Jane Blumenthal Martin lives in Overland Park with her husband and two children. Read Jane's blog for working parents at artofequalparenting.com.