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Tips for KC Moms to be the Hostess with the Most-ess

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Playdates

The key to hosting successful playdates is to start small. Your 3-year-old might declare, “She is my best friend in the whole world!” However, this does not guarantee they will get along for an entire day. For preschoolers, start with an hour or two and consider having the other parent stay for all or part of the time. A neutral location like a playground may help with the “sharing struggle” that can occur when one child is on another’s turf. 

Incorporate a snack. Asking the guest’s parent for any major likes or dislikes in this regard is helpful. My kids’ friends seem to like the “snack plate” idea, where I deliver a tray with two each of a variety of things. Banish siblings if you can. After all, it’s a play date, and no one likes a third wheel. My grade school-aged kids now can entertain themselves fabulously with a friend over, so I use that time to do something special with the younger child. 

Ask your child in advance to think about and tell you what he or she would like to do with the guest so you can put a stop to any crazy ideas. (“First, we are going to jump on all the couches in the house…”). Make sure your child understands she should let her guest pick, within reason, the activity (or at least take turns). Remove any toys that can’t be shared easily or let your child put away special belongings herself. Have a couple of activities ready, but let the children do their own thing to the extent both are enjoying themselves. 

If the kids run out of ideas or seem to be entering into conflict about what to play, some sure crowd pleasers at our house include playing with magic sand or play dough, baking or decorating cookies, going on a treasure hunt or tackling an indoor or outdoor obstacle course.  If a young guest’s parent is not on site, send her a message or picture to let her know her child is having fun (or that she might need to come a bit early). 

Be sure to corral your guest’s belongings before it is time to leave. Also, give at least a 10-minute warning that it’s time to wrap things up. 

Birthday Parties

Have a set start and stop time. The younger the child, the shorter the party should be. If you choose to host a party at a commercial venue, they will likely determine the duration for you, typically 1 ½ to 2 ½ hours. Send out invitations two to three weeks in advance. If your child has a very best friend, check his availability early in the planning process. Let parents know on the invitation whether they can drop off their children or whether they should stay and supervise—I mean “join in the party.” Letting parents know whether siblings are included is also helpful. If your party doesn’t have a limit on guests, this can make things much easier for parents with more than one child. 

If you are allowing parents to drop off, make sure you have plenty of adults or older children to help manage the chaos that cake and ice cream can create. Include a map or directions to the party location, as well as a contact number—even if you request RSVPs via e-mail. If you are serving a meal or other food, include that information in the invitation so parents can plan ahead (this is especially helpful to parents of children with food allergies). 

Be sure to offer parents attending the party food and drinks as well. If you are planning games or activities for the celebration, have a quiet game or refreshment break following the more active games. If you decide to open gifts at the party, gather them up after they have been unwrapped so nothing gets lost or broken. If you choose to offer party favors to your guests, keep it simple. Most parents seem to prefer receiving one nice favor or sweet treat rather than a bag of plastic odds and ends. Or have the kids make their own favors. A craft project can serve as both an activity and a favor. 

Let your child and the guests determine the flow of the party. If they’re having a blast doing something, let them stick with it a little longer even if that means shuffling or eliminating another activity. Enlist help with cutting and serving the cake and taking photographs so you can enjoy this special time with your birthday kid. 

Sleepovers

Hosting a sleepover gets more complicated due to the longer period of time, serving of several meals and the bedtime declaration. Younger children can still participate in an “almost sleepover” where they wear pajamas and bring sleeping bags, but parents pick them up at bedtime. 

Decide where everyone will spread out ahead of time and prepare the area. Avoid squabbles about who sleeps where by arranging sleeping bags in a circle with heads in the middle. Move furniture out of the way and provide extra pillows, blankets, toothbrushes and toiletries because someone will forget something. Show everyone where the bathroom is and leave the light on or use a nightlight so guests can find their way. Also show them where to find your bedroom, for emergencies only. 

Other parents will love you if you can actually get the kids to sleep for a decent amount of time so they are not completely out of commission the next day. Bribery works well in this regard. You can watch this movie/play this game/have this snack if you all will agree to go to bed—and sleep—at this certain time. 

Have some backup activities that include everyone, such as watching a non-scary movie. Warn any known early risers not to wake the others. Providing books or magazines can help keep them entertained but quiet. 

Setting out food and drinks buffet style seems easiest so guests can continue to help themselves without resorting to unsanctioned raids on the fridge. Serve treats well before bedtime so the children have opportunity to burn off the sugar. Kids seem to like serving themselves at makeshift popcorn bars, hot cocoa bars, ice cream sundae bars, waffle bars, etc. If you offer a few options (and one of those options is chocolate chips), it seems more festive. 

Have a definite morning pickup time—no later than 10:00. Even if they stayed up late, they will still likely awaken early. Be sure to get contact numbers for every parent so you aren’t scrambling for them in case of an emergency. 

Out of Town Guests

This is one category where anticipating your guests’ needs is key. Think about what a nice hotel provides. You want your guests to be comfortable and not have to ask you for every little thing. 

Even if your guest quarters consist of your living room couch with a blanket on it, you can add some small touches that your guests will appreciate. Put a simple tray with bottles of water, glasses and tissues by the bed. Be sure to lay out towels and washcloths for their use, as well as a fresh bar of soap and small shampoo samples. Empty hangers in the closet or a cleaned out dresser drawer will allow them to unpack a bit. An alarm clock, a few magazines and a lamp by the bed are nice, as is a trash can and an available plug for charging devices (and a note with your wifi network and password). Be prepared to provide a fan, extra blanket or space heater if your guest is used to a different temperature than your household.

Let guests know your family’s schedule and routine and try to stick to your kids’ routines to the extent you can. Don’t feel like you have to spend every waking moment together. Give your guests (and yourself) some private time to relax. Provide information about local sites or dining if your guests are venturing out on their own. Show them where the coffee and breakfast supplies are kept so they can help themselves. 

Giving your guests their own house key can allow them to come and go without disturbing you. Also be sure to explain any quirks regarding your home’s plumbing, electricity, etc., before they become an issue!  

Let these hosting tips result in a great entertaining experience. Maybe you’ll even receive a reciprocal invitation!  

Keep four main things in mind when entertaining, regardless of the size of your group or age of your guests:

Laura Miller McEachen is a part-time attorney and full-time mommy.

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